Abu Hamza opens new takeaway!

I’m glad to say that this guy – Abu Hamza, the radical Muslim cleric – is currently doing porridge at Her Majesty’s pleasure and I sincerely hope the one-eyed, hook-handed cunt really will be extradited to the US as soon as he’s finished ‘passing the soap’ with his new best friends…

I read today how his 3 sons will now be joining him in stir for their part in a car stealing racket.

Perhaps a bad move as they’ll very likely be able to secrete a fleet of Mercs up their arses by the time they’ve been made some 6’6″ hairy biker’s bitches.

So, imagine my surprise when I found this pushed through the letterbox not 5 minutes ago:


I don’t think I’ll be trying out their menu, although whipping the chicken out of the tandoor must be a breeze with a metal hook at the end of your arm…

Michael Savage may well be a cunt…*

…but he certainly wasn’t a martyr until now

*I’d never even heard of him before Jacqui Smith decided that I shouldn’t.

Surfin’ USA

Wow…those Washington folks sure know how to make a mess into a bigger mess

Fuck knows what Cheney’s up to but he’s making Obama’s attempts to shrug off the CIA’s use of torture certain interrogation techniques not just less effective than they already are, but helping to make the US’s world image even poorer than it already is.

“One of the things that I find a little bit disturbing about this recent disclosure is that they put out the legal memos… but they didn’t put out the memos that show the success of the effort,” Mr Cheney told Fox News.

I’m not surprised that there were successes – waterboarding someone 266 times isn’t exactly a desultory attempt to get them to talk.

Now Cheney wants the US people to judge for themselves whether such methods were justified in terms of the value of the information obtained by using them.

The American people should have a chance to weigh the intelligence obtained alongside the legal debate, he said.

I’m sure that the US people will adopt their usual gung ho attitude and see the ends as justifying the means.

But isn’t that the terrorists’ philosophy also?

Is it too much to ask…

…that a minister in the UK government attends to national concerns rather than the grumblings of a disaffected minority?

Why not educate that minority rather than acquiesce to them?

And since when did we put the interests of faith before all others?

It’s a mystery to me why it’s always necessary to state that a group of people are ‘Muslim’ when we refer to no other groups that way.

Do people habitually talk of ‘Catholic Poles’, Hindu Indians’ or ‘Presbyterian Scots’?

In the UK religious faith is a matter of choice, and whilst it might colour opinion, it should not be a guiding factor in government policy.

Mr Khan obviously feels differently…

(An In)Spector Falls

Not a good look

Being a bona fide genius doesn’t preclude the possibility that you might also be a mad cunt.

In the case of Phil Spector it’s a certainty.

It’s a matter of public record that Spector was not only a brilliant and innovative record producer – I’m certainly a fan of his work – but a thoroughly unpleasant guy who was unhinged, to say the least.

Obsessed with guns, his own baldness and abusive towards women, it was almost inevitable that his life would eventually suffer some sort of trainwreck and whilst playing with a gun. whilst coming off, if not still on, prescription drugs in the presence of a woman whom he then shot it all went really badly wrong.

So, after playing the US legal system like one of his studio sessions he’s finally got his comeuppance – 15 years to life probably.

Sad but more than fair.

Holy fuck

I don’t know what definitive source they’re quoting, but several newspapers and blogs have reported that during our esteemed PM’s humiliating sojourn in the United States of America, a certain Ms Harman was heard to refer to herself as ‘duty Prime Minister’.

Holy fuck.

I don’t know what’s more alarming.

Her arrogance or the thought that if we’d had our own 9/11 moment whilst Gordon was chowing down on a deep-fried Hershey Bar with Barak Obama (that sounds like an incredibly filthy euphemism, but isn’t) then Harriet would indeed have been directing proceedings.

Holy fuck.

Dangerous curves ahead

A friend on twitter has just shown me this.

OK, it shows the job losses situation in the US – not in the UK – but that’s a frightening downward curve whichever country is suffering.

If you extrapolate that curve so it has the same vague shape as the other two then that comes out as something like a ten year period for job losses to reach a trough and then come back to pre-recession levels.

Surely that’s a depression?

If that’s the case and it’s similar here in the UK, all I can say is fucking ouch…

No tomorrow for ‘Yesterday’s Men’

Interesting…demonstrations and other acts of civil and industrial unrest in Russia, Greece, the Republic of Ireland, France and now the UK.

We have wildcat strikes here.

But it’s OK, Gordon has spoken:

Speaking from the World Economic Forum in Switzerland, Mr Brown said instead of spontaneous strike action, “what we’ve got to do over time, as I’ve always said, is that where there are jobs in this country, we need people with the skills, developed in this country”.

Tackled about his 2007 Labour conference pledge to create “British jobs for British workers” – a slogan used by the striking refinery workers – Mr Brown said: “Well, we are part of a single European market but I have always understood the worries that people have.

“They look round and say, well, why can’t we do these jobs, jobs ourselves, these are jobs that we can do.

“When, when I talked about British jobs, I was taking about giving people in Britain the skills, so that they have the ability to get jobs which were at present going to people from abroad.”

Mr Brown added: “You’ll find that no government in history is doing more to try and find ways that we can help people who are unemployed back in to work as quickly as possible.”

What’s he actually said though?

Ah…he wasn’t talking about jobs for British workers, he was talking about skills all along.

Now, given that we already have an alarmingly high rate of adult illiteracy in this country – something that has its causes rooted in past decades of  tinkering about with our education system – how he can think that his words can be of any comfort is beyond me.

He wants to get people back to work as soon as possible…with these new skills that they don’t have yet?…into what sort of employment?…where’s the money coming from to keep the businesses going that are going to employ these people?

Maybe there are no words of comfort that Brown can inspire us with because maybe we really are screwed this time, but he doesn’t have to insult people’s intelligence.

I have to confess to not having a great deal of faith in the nation’s intelligence on the whole – the success of Big Brother and the X-Factor is evidence enough for me – but you don’t have to be an Einstein to look at the nature of our economy, the unregulated augmentation of our population and the swift and dire effects of unemployment on the lives of ordinary people to realise that talk of creating jobs for people is just that…talk…

New skills take time to learn and they don’t pay the mortgage or fill the shopping trolley at Tesco.

Looking at the list of countries which are experiencing unrest, it’s just struck me that a) their leaders seem to look more like yesterday’s men with every passing day and b) the US is conspicuous by its absence.

Could it be that there’s an ‘Obama factor’ at work here?

Perhaps Europe needs new blood before we can rise to the daunting challenge of reconstructing economic stability here.

Shame the blood bank’s gone bust though…

Where the hell was I…

…when a band called Oingo Boingo was about?

I’ve just discovered them and all I can say is WOW.

Of course, there are countless bands that meant zip in the UK whilst pulling in mega crowds to gigs and making album after album in the US, and vice versa, but why weren’t these guys a global fucking smash?

Well, it’s too late to see them now, but at least their back catalogue is available.

I want everything they’ve ever recorded – or even breathed next to…

Cunning stunts – tasers revisited

I had a look at what Wikipedia has to say about tasers and found some interesting and also amusing stuff – although not necessarily having both qualities at the same time…

‘Taser and its supporters in the police community regularly attribute the cause of deaths that follow Tasering to “excited delirium”, a phenomenon in which agitated or disturbed individuals being apprehended by police respond in an irrational, bizarre and hyperactive manner. Critics argue that as this alleged condition only exists in relationship to being apprehended by police, its existence is dubious.’

Hmm…people do tend to get stressed out when apprehended by the Old Bill somewhat…

Police officers that patrol schools, including grade schools, in several U.S. states (including Kansas, Minnesota, Kentucky, and Florida), currently carry tasers. In 2004, the parents of a 6-year old boy in Miami sued the police department for tasering their child. The police said the boy was threatening to injure his own leg with a shard of glass, and claimed that using the taser was the only option to stop the boy from injuring himself.

Sheesh…6 years old…Don’t hurt yourself or I’ll…er…I’ll….hurt you…Child psychology at its best!

Supporters of taser use in schools argue that merely switching on the device, and threatening to use it, can be effective in frightening violent or uncooperative students into desisting from inappropriate behaviour, if verbal reprimands have not succeeded.

I’ll bet it’s effective. So is a gun FFS…

Taser devices are not considered firearms by the U.S. government. They can be legally carried (concealed or open) without a permit in 43 states.

Why am I not surprised…?