Au revoir Revoir

That low rent pile of shite the Mail is at it again.

Yes, it’s Sachsgate once more but this time ace reporter Paul Revoir has surpassed himself and most of the other hacks on the paper.

The article has a Twitpic photo of Ross with some showbiz chums.

Revoir’s copy reads:

Ross and Brand have responded defiantly by posting a photograph on the internet of themselves in high spirits with a group of friends, giving the impression that they ‘couldn’t care less’ about the furore.

I really can’t see any defiance in either the photo or even the act of posting it.

Ross posts a lot of photos on Twitpic which are immensely boring – just like the one used in the Mail today – but have no ‘agenda’ as far as I can see.

Yet Revoir somehow gets beneath the merely visual with intrepid zeal, licks the end of his ‘Young Reporter’s’ pencil and extrapolates a whole fictitious scenario of these evil-doers posing defiantly for the camera like some modern-day Bonny and Clyde.

Besides, what does he expect Ross to do?

Not enjoy himself with friends?

Sit at home scourging himself?

Stay in bed all day moping?

Of course not, but Revoir has obviously taken all this a grudge too far.

But, here’s an idea for Baron Dacre at Mail Towers that I offer in a spirit of bonhomie and with the purpose of improving the standard of his paper’s ‘news’ reporting.

When you’re sorting out who to interview for a staff reporting job, send each prospective candidate a piece of paper with 3 dots on it numbered from 1 to 3, laid out in a triangle.

If someone sends you back a picture of a triangle, let them have an interview.

If someone sends you back a picture of an ormolu clock, tell the cunt to get lost.

Simple!

In the meantime, Baron, before this new interview filter is put in place, you might as well get rid of a few of the cunts you already have working at the Mail.

Might I suggest Paul Revoir for a start?

The fucked-up Daily Mail and Sachsgate – the stench lingers on

Even by its own lamentable standards the Mail has made a bit of a twat of itself today.

Yes, it’s the Ross/Brand circus all over again after the news that OFCOM has fined the BBC £150 000 – that’s about one MP’s expenses for those wanting a quick currency conversion.

Make Ross pay: As BBC is fined record £150,000 over sick stunt, MPs demand £6m-a-year star and Russell Brand foot bill

Two points worth raising here.

MPs?

Well, only just…as one Lib Dem Don Foster (who he?) chips in (they’ve always got something to say about everything, haven’t they?) and Labour’s Gerald Kaufman is prised out of cryogenic storage to speak his brains – file between fish fingers and hash browns.

So, yes, that’s certainly MPs in the plural but hardly the swell of parliamentary opinion that the headline infers.

The other point concerns the woman in this affair – Sach’s granddaughter.

Interesting choice of photograph of her the Mail has made for this ‘story’…stockings, suspenders, etc.

So, whilst the comments column below is full of a bukkake-like outspewing of moral froth and puritanical self-righteousness the actual story is illustrated with a picture whose only purpose seems to be to titillate the readership.

Weren’t there any photographs of Ms Baillie in slightly more clothes?

And where does that place the Mail in its attempts to lay claim to any moral high ground in this whole affair?

It portrays Ms Baillie as the injured party yet shows her in her underwear in a pose clearly intended to be provocative.

It’s confused and confusing to say the least and takes me into places I’d rather not go with regard to the twisted psyches of some Mail readers – not to mention their journalistic pimps.

One last thing…

Hazel ‘eee I’m just a simple Northern lass wi’ me flatcap on me head and a whippet in my briefs’ Blears appeared on the BBC’s Question Time program last week and also joined in the Ross/Brand debate saying that they should pay the fine, so that’s one MP the Mail missed, bringing the number of MPs actually calling for this to happen to a grand total of 3:

The BBC is funded by all of us as licence-payers, so actually, are we having to pay the fine?  Then I thought maybe Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand should pay it… that might be quite a good idea.

However, I’m sure that Hazel ‘eee I’ve gone upmarket and now I keep me coal in the bath at me second home and pass me some more whippet and black pudding flavour crisps’ Blears has something slightly more pressing to think about right now.

The Mail does it again

The Daily Mail has once again demonstrated how low it can stoop with this story – if you can call this execrable pile of hackwork a story.

Who would lend their children to Russell Brand for the night? Comedian makes his first UK appearance since Sachsgate

FFS! What are they inferring?

That he can’t be trusted with children because Jonathon Ross said ‘fucked’ on Brand’s radio show?

Can’t be trusted?

Being picked by a famous actor to accompany him to the premiere of the latest Disney film is a treat most children would treasure.

But when that actor is Russell Brand perhaps some parents would have second thoughts.

WHY?

I despair, I really do…

You stand less chance of getting a reasoned and balanced viewpoint in the Mail than you do of getting a blowjob in a nunnery.