4 things not to say to Richard Timney tomorrow morning

It’s been a good day to blog with so much to write about and there’s been no shortage of cunts to rant about along the way.

So, it’s goodnight from me and goodnight from Richard Timney.

I leave you with 4 things (yes – 4!) not to say to ‘Dick’ tomorrow morning.

1) Did you have a good weekend?

2) Seen any good films lately?

3) How’s the missus?

4) ‘ello wanker!

3 things not to ask Jacqui Smith tomorrow

1) How’s Richard?

2) Seen any good films lately?

3) Anything else

3 pr0n films Richard Timney wanked to at our expense

1) A porn film

2) Another porn film

3) Er…

3 things Richard Timney won’t be getting in the foreseeable future

1) Porn movies from Blockbuster

2) Sex from the Home Secretary

3) Spoken to at home

3 people I would not want to be right now

1) Mr Jacqui Smith

2) Richard Timney

3) The Home Secretary’s husband

Irony!

The snooper snooped on!

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has said she will “answer any questions” Parliament’s sleaze watchdog has about £116,000 in “second home” expenses.

Ms Smith named her sister’s London home as her main residence and her family home in Redditch as her “second home”.

She insists she has done nothing wrong and that she followed the rules.

But Standards Commissioner John Lyon has asked her to explain claims by her London neighbours she spends as little as two nights a week at that address.

Nice to see our citizens are keeping an eye out for dodgy Nu Labour politicians as well as swarthy men with rucksacks…

Now, perhaps some public questions can be asked about her arrangement with a certain Mr Timney who is paid £40 000 to manage her constituency office.

Mr Timney is in fact married to the strident Ms Smith and was recently discovered to have written a series of letters to newspapers praising the work of – yes, you’ve guessed it – Ms Smith.

Of course, Mr Timney did not disclose this fact.

One of the pleasures of blogging is not just writing but also reading other people’s blogs.

So Guido made me laugh when he described Ms Smith as “the second home secretary”.