Not so fast with that noose!

At times over the last few months it’s been difficult to peer through the sickly red mist that’s descended whenever I’ve read something about the incredible cupidity of our troughing MPs.

Wank films, duck houses, moat-cleaning, plasma TVs, etc, etc – we’ve been steadily bombarded with details of these and many other items that we, the taxpayers, have paid for.

Now, it seems to be payback time, although when you hear about someone like Jacqui Smith you begin to wonder how seriously widespread public anger and unrest are being taken.

So does Sir Thomas Legg who heads up the team auditing MPs’ expenses claims and clawing back overpayments and the like.

Well done, Sir Thomas!

But is it?

Playing devil’s advocate here, is this statement from Legg really how we want rules and regulations – not to mention laws – applied in a just and fair society?

…Sir Thomas said that he could find nothing in the existing rules setting out the maximum allowable for other large expenses, including cleaning and gardening. Therefore, he believed that limits must be imposed retrospectively.

“Some limits must be regarded as having been in place to prevent disproportionate and unnecessary expenditure from the public purse,” he said.

What do we stand to gain from more – retrospective payments obtained from rewritten and reinterpreted regulations to satisfy a public hunger for revenge or a total revamping of the conditions under which MPs represent the people who vote them into their jobs?

Yes, they took the piss – and I’ve been as vociferous as most people in my condemnation of their greed and corruption – but do we really want to employ a mechanism whereby people can be retrospectively held to account for their misdemeanours after the rules have been changed?

I sure as fuck don’t.

Punish the cunts to the fullest extent of the law and claw back every fucking red cent from the felching shitweasels but then press for Parliament for legislation to ensure full accountability of MPs in all aspects of their job.

It’s the only way to avoid this happening again a few years down the line – if our rewritten laws will allow us to do anything about it by then…

The alternative just opens up possibilities that hardly bear thinking about.

Yesterday’s Trafigura/Carter Ruck/Guardian debacle showed how the application of laws can be hidden from scrutiny – do we really want our laws to be arbitrarily changed as well?

The mole, the MoD and the maggot

Need a piss?…get in the fucking queue…

Being a cynical cunt sort of chap I’ve never thought that the Daily Telegraph was motivated by anything other than the prospect of boosting its circulation figures when it broke and covered the story of MPs’ expenses earlier this year.

But the paper’s cluster wanking isn’t over yet.

No, the journalistic jizz lobbers are still flinging it about.

There’s a new book published today by the journalists who helped to break the story and Andrew Pierce – the Telegraph’s assistant editor – has been out doing interviews and whetting the public’s appetite for this tome with an insight into where the whole series of revelations began – the original source…

The mole in the Ministry.

(You really can’t make this shit up, can you?)

According to the Telegraph:

The mole who leaked details of MPs’ expenses says he was partly motivated by anger at inadequate equipment for UK troops, the Daily Telegraph reported.

It says staff sorting through MPs’ receipts were guarded by servicemen on leave moonlighting to earn extra money.

The mole said their stories “helped tip the balance” in the decision to leak details – the Telegraph has confirmed it paid £110,000 for the information.

So, we have a group of civil servants working on the redaction of MPs’ expenses claims who hear their guards’ stories, contrast these with the outlandish claims for things like duck houses and moat cleaning and then one of them feels such outrage that he decides to make the whole thing public.

As Pierce says:

…servicemen had overheard staff working on MPs’ receipts: “As civil servants were redacting, or censoring, or covering up, or Tippexing out up the difficult details, they were exclaiming out loud to each other… ‘Oh my god, can you see what they’ve claimed for?'”

Fair enough, but that £110 000 niggles a bit.

So, this shitweasel Pierce has to dress it up a little by calling the payment of a considerable sum of money, in return for possibly the biggest scoop of the present century, an ‘insurance’ policy.

(He) told the BBC the payment to the source of the leak was an “insurance policy” for the mole, as that person would lose their job if the government discovered their identity. He also said it was “cheap at the price” as MPs had already repaid hundreds of thousands of pounds.

He said: “We paid £110,000 to the source. And let me just say, so far the taxpayer has been reimbursed by MPs £500,000, and there will be more; we have got a much better Commons as a result of it.”

As I said above, I’m a cynical sort and whilst I don’t question the right of the mole to feel outrage, leak the information and then cover his own pinstriped arse financially, it’s just as much chequebook journalism as Jordan’s gynaecologist getting paid by the News of the World for revealing what sort of furniture and decor she has up her lady crack.

Pierce then goes on to try and make the £110K sound insignificant by contrasting it with the paltry £500 000 the MPs have paid back so far.

Then he completely fucking loses it and tells us we have a better Commons.

We do?

Well, I didn’t fucking notice it.

When the cunting fuck did that happen?

I’m not saying that the Telegraph didn’t ultimately do us all a favour by exposing the MPs’ troughing, but the way that Pierce talks, you’d think his paper did it out of some sense of altruism.

Increased circulation figures…higher advertising revenues…money, cash, dosh, moolah, readies, folding.

That’s all the Telegraph as a player in the MSM fucking cares about.

And as for that cash-in book…Constantly Furious expresses my opinions precisely.

But the story doesn’t end here.

The other ‘interested parties’ get to have their say.

The MoD itself:

Sources at the Ministry of Defence (MoD) have cast doubt on whether serving soldiers would be allowed, or have the time, to moonlight as security guards. But Mr Pierce said the newspaper had “clear evidence” some were doing extra work to buy equipment.


The MoD says its top priority is to get the “best equipment” for troops.

OK, maybe the MoD are right (who knows? It could happen) and servicemen haven’t been moonlighting to buy extra vital equipment, but it’s a fact that servicemen have had to buy their own equipment due to a combination of MoD inefficiency, negligence and downright incompetence.

Of course, our dear Prime Minister Gordon Brown now gets a chance to answer questions about this affair.

Asked on Sky News if he understood the motivation for the expenses leak, Prime Minister Gordon Brown said: “I don’t think so.”

What the fuck?

Firm, decisive, unequivocal, isn’t he?


He added: “MPs have got to live in two places at once – that is a big problem.

Yes, Gordon, it’s a big problem because those of us who pay tax have to pay for these useless troughers’ two homes and we’re fucking sick of being used like some sort of cash cow for the cunts to repeatedly yank at our money teats and cash udders.

“As far as the troops in Afghanistan are concerned, right throughout the period I have been chancellor and then prime minister, I have been determined to make sure that the troops that are serving our country are properly paid, that we make proper allowance for them, that we give them the best equipment, that we help them in every way possible.”

Which is just – and there’s really no other way to put this – a total fucking lie.

Then the MoD gets in on the act again.

The MoD said: “Since 2006, we have delivered equipment valued at more than £10bn to the armed forces. “Every soldier who deploys to Afghanistan receives Osprey body armour and a Mark 6a helmet.

“They also receive a black bag containing all their operational requirements. Valued at £3,500, it contains everything a soldier will need from boots and socks to camel backs.”

Camel backs…how appropriate…anyone got a fucking straw?

And black bags?

No shortage of those leaving Afghanistan, is there?

So, what do we have at the end of this rather tawdry and sordid bout of mutual masturbation by the Telegraph, the MoD and Gordon Brown?

Looks like everyone’s a winner at first glance…

  • The Telegraph maintains its image of crusading MSM seeker after truth and justice.
  • The mole trousers £110 000 and gets to keep his no doubt grossly-distended salary and his taxpayer-subsidised, inflation-proof, final salary pension.
  • The authors of the new book will probably sell shitloads rehashing old news – although we can always hope for their books to appear in the remainder bin in some discount book shop sometime next January.
  • The MoD gets to trot out its lies and false reassurances that our troops are properly equipped and again remains unchallenged.
  • Gordon Brown gets to wriggle off the hook again like the lying and dysfunctional fucking maggot that he is.

Yes, everyone manages to emerge from this stinking pile of shit smelling like fucking roses.

Everyone except the troops and the British public, that is…

They‘ still don’t get it, do they?

The cunts.

The utter fucking cunts.

MPs’ expenses – now they want sympathy

Nadine Dorries – troughing cunt

The BBC radio documentary ‘The MPs’ Story‘ aired on Monday.

Some of those interviewed seem to have seen this as an opportunity to gain some sympathy from the public, but they’re not getting any from this taxpayer.

Nadine Dorries had something to say (there’s a BIG fucking surprise) and she’s even blogged about it here.

I was very proud of my daughter who became upset during the interview and I regretted letting her contribute, but really, she was just one of hundreds of children and families who were all experiencing the exact same feelings and emotion.

The heartstring tugging was continued by that well-known Tory blogger Iain Dale :

Earlier today Radio 4 broadcast a half hour programme on the MP expenses scandal. It is a close look at the effect the scandal had on MPs and their families. Among others, it features Nadine Dorries, Ann Cryer, Denis MacShane and Andrew George. Nadine’s daughter breaks down in tears when discussing the effect it all had on her, and Nadine openly discusses the fact that she has thought about standing down. She has also blogged about the programme HERE.

I suspect that many people will have an adverse reaction to the programme and accuse the MPs of shedding crocodile tears and think they deserved all they got. Many did. But several of the MPs featured in this programme were clearly driven to the edge of reason by what happened.

For fuck’s sake, Iain, how far up Dorries’ arse are you prepared to stick your fucking tongue?

Dale even comments on his own blog entry when he finds his readers are rather less than sympathetic or not quite as enamoured of the taste of Mad Nad’s duodenum quite as much as he is:

You are all writing as if all were as guilty as each other. If that were true I’d have more sympathy with what you are all writing. The fact is that some MPs deserved all they got, and others didn’t. Andrew George, who features in this programme, I would venture to suggest is one who was traduced with very little reason. Don’t tarr them all with the same brush – that’s all I am saying.

Yes, Iain baby, but they were all complicit in covering up the troughing that was going on – ergo, they are all guilty.

Anyway, I don’t know about you, but I really couldn’t give a fuck about any of the greedy troughing cunts or their families.

They still don’t fucking get it and any shit they’ve brought down on their families should be regarded as no different from that inflicted on his family by any career criminal.

The overwhelming fucking pity of all this is that none of the fuckers seem to be paying for their crimes.

A few thousand quid given back here and there and that makes it all right as far as they’re concerned.

It doesn’t, you weasel-felching motherfuckers and let’s hope you get that message loud and fucking clear come the General Election.

If this doesn’t get sorted then, it’ll be lamppost and piano wire time come about 2012…


They really, really don’t get it yet – part 2561

Call me Dave doesn’t, anyway.

Conservative MPs are to pay back another £125,000 in expenses as a result of the party’s scrutiny review of claims, David Cameron has said.

By repaying the money, Mr Cameron said MPs would go some way to “atone for the mistakes of the past”.

Only if you sack every troughing fucker under your leadership will you do that.

And that includes your chums Duncan and Osborne.

When are you going to grow some balls, Dave?

These men need balls…

…if the electorate are ever going to trust MPs again.

Please give what you can – however small…

MPs expenses…the stench still lingers…

After the Telegraph’s protracted publication of MPs’ expenses, the redacted details released by Parliament today seem somewhat of an anti-climax.

Someone, somewhere must have been appointed ‘Marker Monitor’ and then told to black out almost every useful piece of information that was likely to be a potential embarrassment to  any MP.

Now, that’s not merely a case of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted, that’s letting the horse bolt, and then deciding after a few months to build a fucking stable in the first place!

I read on the Telegraph iPhone app that it is going to publish a special MPs’ expenses supplement this coming Saturday.

I know what I’ll be reading in the name of government transparency, and it won’t be the fucking mockery I’m looking at on the web…

Deja Hoon

So, Hoon has been caught ‘double dipping’.

I don’t know about you, but I find it suspicious that so many so-called intelligent people have made so many similar administrative errors:

Mr Hoon’s constituency home was funded by the taxpayer while he was also claiming parliamentary allowances for a London town house, The Daily Telegraph can disclose.

During 2006, he claimed hundreds of pounds for the Derbyshire house after “flipping” his designated second home to the capital.

Last night, the Transport Secretary apologised “unreservedly” for what he described as an “inadvertent administrative error” and repaid £384 to the parliamentary authorities.

It’s getting to be as tedious as the ‘I followed all the rules’ mantra they all come out with.

And just as hard to believe.

There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that virtually every MP deliberately spent taxpayers’ money extravagantly, fraudulently and corruptly.

MPs, TVs & GGs – random Sunday musings on greed and sloth

Even if MPs had kept to the guidelines as set out in the ”Green Book’ it still seems remarkably generous in what it allows to be claimed.

Take TVs, for example…

I know that Kaufman tried to claim for an £8865 TV – an eyewatering amount whoever was going to pay for it – and it was disallowed, but each MP was still entitled to claim up to £750 for  TV.

There seems to have been no requirement to economise or save taxpayers’ money at all, so MPs spent up to and, in some cases, due to Fees Office incompetency and/or corruption, over this amount.

Wouldn’t a £200 job from Curry’s have done them?

Apparently not, but £750 still buys quite a nice TV and, as it’s effectively free, even better ‘value’ for the MP wanting some viewing luxury.

(Yes, I have a 40″ flatscreen Samsung TV. Cost me about £500 I think. Bought and paid for out of my own pocket. I’d have liked to have spent a bit more, but I wasn’t getting a handout from the taxpayers…Same with my stereo system. If I was an MP I could have bought a £750 system with no questions asked. As it was, I had to make do with something a lot cheaper.)

They troughed and troughed and troughed, didn’t they?

Nothing was too expensive to try and claim for – everything was just bought without any consideration as to where the money came from.

And still the tales of greed spew out from the Telegraph…

When it’s not about greed it’s about how some MPs are such poor value for our money.

Here’s the worst culprit, who:

turned up for just five per cent of votes, spoke in only four debates and submitted just three questions to Ministers

The reason for his poor voting record is, according to this shonky fuckwit himself, that:

It is pointless to vote in most votes when the votes themselves are a foregone conclusion. Moreover, Parliamentary questions are used by many MPs for grandstanding.

Yes, it’s George ‘I’m a total cunt so somebody shoot me and put me out of your misery’ Galloway.

I don’t think it crossed his vapid mind that if you don’t vote then maybe the result won’t change, but if you do vote, it might make a difference.

There are worse troughers than this loathesome little gobshite prick, but no lazier ones and, certainly, none more utterly expendable, corrupt and politically inept.

“Britain’s Got Troughers”


Channel 4?

Could you put me through to the commissioning editor, please?

Ah, hello.

Who are you speaking to?


Just call me a man with a plan…

I have a great idea for a new reality TV show.

Yes, I know that Big Brother’s going to be back soon, but this can’t fail!

I know you’re busy, but please hear me out.


You get a large area – about an acre or so, so an existing football stadium would do just fine – and construct a large round cage that can be locked. It’s got razor wire woven through the steel bars so no-one can get out. Then you get 645 MPs…

Yes, MPs.

Why 645? You’ll see later if you like the idea.

Now where was I?


You herd them all into the cage and then you lock the gates.

You get £250 000 in used fivers and then you pour the whole lot in through the top of the cage and watch them fight it out. The last one standing gets the £250K.

Well, what do you think?


How much to use the idea?

Ooh…a hundred K?

You thought I was going to ask for more?


Contract? No need, just send me the money in a large brown envelope marked ‘Wee Georgie Broon’ and just stick it behind the pipes of the second wash basin along in the gents’ at Kings Cross Station. I’ll email you the date and time later.

Yes, I know, Can’t lose can it?



Quote of the week – Hattie Harperson

Read the whole interview here.

Meanwhile, hold on to your stomach contents and read this:

Did she have any idea what was coming in the expenses revelations?

“Well, I … I knew I didn’t know. It’s Donald Rumsfeld’s known unknown. It was definitely a known unknown.”

Only a total fuckwit would try and get any mileage out Rumsfeld’s stupidity.