The Priests!

I went looking for a CD for Mrs Shark today as an extra little stocking filler.

I looked through the racks in HMV and saw this album:

priests

Hmmm…I thought…that’s a new band on me – never heard of them before…

Anyway, I flipped the CD over and it turned out that The Priests is a ‘band’ of priests – real priests.

Real priests singing hymns and stuff.

Needless to say, I put it back in the rack rather swiftly…

Amazon’s product description makes it sound totally resistable:

Fathers Eugene & Martin O’Hagan and David Delargy are genuine Roman Catholic priests from Northern Ireland who have been singing together since childhood. Signed on the spot by Epic after their demo landed on the MD’s desk, their album is being simultaneously released in an unprecedented 30 territories. Unsurprisingly the bulk of the material is traditional devotional music, but it also features classical excerpts and has been given a rock sheen by producer Mike Hedges (Manic Street Preachers, The Cure).

It’s the ‘rock sheen’ bit that scares the bejasus out of me…

I can imagine it now…after selling shitloads of CDs, which they have already done as the album is at number 6 in the album charts, The Priests go on tour…the stage show is amazing…a 100 foot high holographic Jesus on a cross acts as the backdrop and the ‘boys’ enter walking on water…some suggestive stage banter mentions choirboys then they launch into a RAWK version of ‘Abide With Me’ featuring the Holy Ghost on a wild electric guitar solo…God then appears saying ‘Buy this album!’…then they all transcend to heaven to a laser display that blinds half the audience…who then fall to their knees half an hour later when their eyesight recovers proclaiming that a miracle has happened…

Or maybe not.

After Christmas I will be writing to the Pope demanding that opportunism be made the 8th Deadly Sin…