If Alan Duncan…

…was half as funny as he thinks he is then he’d be twice as funny as he really is…

His appearance on “Have I Got News For You” a couple of weeks ago must surely be coming back to haunt him now that he’s been shown to be as guilty of troughing as anyone.

Look at him about 6 minutes in and I defy you to find a smugger bastard anywhere on Planet Earth.

Now, of course, it’s a different story with Duncan waving a cheque for £5000 – a refund of the gardening expenses he successfully claimed – and saying how he doesn’t want to be thought of as a crook.

A bit too fucking late for that, you cunt.

Add into this pungent mix a very ill-judged and, it has to be said, very unfunny joke about murdering Miss California…

…and you have two very good reasons for Cameron to sack Duncan.

He hasn’t and he won’t and there’s the problem with Cameron – he talks tough but isn’t tough.

Cameron, I’m afraid, is yet another political lightweight.

Anyone who thinks he’s tough is either an intellectual pygmy, mentally ill or a Tory so tribal that they probably have a pair of underpants with a  photo of Thatcher on the front of them.

The only positive thing to come out of all this is the good news that an eco-activist has added a new feature to Duncan’s garden:

The bad news, of course, is that Duncan hasn’t been buried up to his cunting neck in his own garden, his head smeared in honey and a jar of wasps released nearby.

When blogs go too far…

I enjoy writing this blog.

I’ve done some freelance stuff for magazines and although it was great to get paid, I also enjoyed the whole process from research through to publication. Blogging to me is really no different – it just doesn’t pay.

I find the process of blogging helps me to focus on my own views on a variety of subjects – politics in particular. I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I’ll be a floating voter come the next General Election and I’d like to be able to make my mind up who gets my vote before I stand in a booth with a little black crayon in my hand.

The interactive nature of blogging is a big attraction too – I like the fact that people can comment on what I write and I can comment back and it’s all pretty rapid in nature.

I’m also appreciative of the fact that I can say more or less what I want and not have to pull any punches. I know that might mean that I sometimes express myself in ways some people might find offensive but that’s the way I’ve chosen to express myself.

I’d guess that very, very few bloggers don’t read other blogs. The blogosphere would probably resemble a DNA molecule if you could devise some sort of diagram of it. The proverb ‘birds of a feather flock together’ is just as true in blogging as it is in ‘real life’, although it’s sometimes not always the case.

As a blog reader I tend to find very little that upsets me – if I don’t like what I read I just go elsewhere.

However, what I do find hard to stomach is some of the very personal and spiteful remarks I read on what purport to be serious blogs.

Abuse is one thing – I’ve called people ‘greedy cunts’ on here, meant what I said and stand by such comments.

So, let’s look at abuse – how far it goes and how far it should go before it becomes counter-productive.

Geoff Hoon – claiming for three homes, transferred some property to his wife so she could be paid rent by him and denied originally owning that property.

My opinion of Hoon – a greedy, lying cunt.

Greedy – because he’s milking the system of MPs’ allowances for every last taxpayer penny.

Lying  – because he denied owning some property when he did own it.

Cunt – because what he’s done is what makes a cunt a cunt. I’m using the Australian definition here – ‘a despicable man’.

I think that’s fair comment – not to everyone’s tastes, maybe, but justifiable on many people’s terms.

If I then went on to say, ‘Hoon is a lanky bastard with a stupid-looking expression on his ugly face all the time’, that’s starting to venture into the personal. I can think of plenty of people like that who aren’t cunts in any way and, in my view, such remarks add nothing to a discussion or opinion apart from maybe relieving the tension of the person who made them.

To take it a stage further – and this is where I tend to recoil slightly when I read certain blogs and the comments on them – I could say, ‘Hoon is a greedy, lying, lanky, bastard cunt with a stupid-looking expression on his ugly face all the time and I’d like to get some piano wire, string him up from the nearest lamp post and stick redhot needles in his scrotum’ then I think that’s going a bit too far.

It introduces a vindictiveness that reduces a reasoned, admittedly abusive, comment to a level that demeans the commentator and debases the main points of his opinion.

I’m assuming, of course, that such malicious intentions aren’t meant to be taken seriously and that the writer is just venting but I’ve seen an awful lot of it recently concerning the recent McBride/Draper Smeargate business.

Yes, these people and those they acted for and even those who denied all knowledge of it behaved like cunts – I hope the cunts get everything that’s coming to them – they’re despicable people who have probably fucked up any chances of Labour getting in at the next General Election – Labour have fucked up the present and future prosperity of this country – our civil liberties have been crippled by their policies – there has to be a better way – they’re all greedy fucking pigs with their snouts in a seemingly bottomless trough of taxpayers’ money – etc – etc – etc.

I’m not arguing here about any of this.

But what I really don’t like is the sheer bile that’s spewing out all over the Blogosphere. It’s not going to achieve anything and it just makes the person who spews it look hysterical.

Yes, I can do what I suggest to people who don’t like something and I can just ignore it and go elsewhere, but then I ignore the venting blogger’s opinions which is not, I suspect, what the  blogger ultimately intends.

In short – Brown, Smith, Hoon, Darling, etc, et-fucking-cetera are all a shower of cunts who should be out on their ears before next year is through. They’re devious, conniving, greedy, power-mad fuckers who aren’t fit to shovel shit, but if they’re gone, that’ll do me.

That’s what matters – not some masochistic wet-dream rant involving a level of physical torture that makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a Buck House garden party…

Even more pigs!

OINK!