More Mail fuckwittery

Winter’s coming back tomorrow – the Mail says so.

Old folk are going to die by the billion, birds will freeze midflight and cause planes to crash as they rain past them and get sucked into their engines, gay people will steal all your children and sell them for smack, socialists will move in next door, venereal disease will eat your face off,  prostitutes will throw cheese at you and house prices will plummet.

And it’s all Sir Fred Goodwin’s fault!