Wheelie bad news

Hmm…a bit of free time, so a cruise through the news…

World news…Ooh, Iran…OK there…nice and quiet…and North Korea won the footy…well done, them! So much for the ‘axis of evil’ and regional instability in the Far and Middle East.

The Economy…ah…lots of green shoots, so everything OK by Christmas. Two jobs for everyone and maybe some tax cuts next year!

Politics…nice to see full transparency over the MPs’ expenses…no need to bother with any reforms there. Carry on chaps – and dredge another moat on me, why don’t you?

Health…lots of dosh sloshing round in the NHS…waiting lists so short they’re begging you to have an op even if you don’t need one.

Local news…Doncaster’s well set…new EDP Mayor who’s going to clean up the town…Utopia by the autumn!

Everything’s great!

Not much news at all.

Which must explain why the Daily Mail is making such a big deal over this – even to the extent of launching a campaign.

Child abuse…economic ruin…criminal justice system broken…parliamentary corruption…

Pah!

It’s those evil, evil wheelie bins that are the source of all mankind’s woes.

To Paul Dacre…it’s not the bins you twat…it’s the EU directives on waste you should be concerned about…

Gordon’s soggy chips

Well, if Gordon Brown does get his chips pissed on tonight in the EU elections, he can take some (scant) comfort from the fact that he won’t be the only government party leader left clutching soggy newspaper and inedible potato-based foodstuff.

The lowest turnout on record – about 43% – and the almost certain swing towards extremist parties in a ‘punishment’ vote will have significant ramifications for the future of the EU and its influence on our country.

What I’m not too happy with is the nature of some of the bedfellows our mostly moderate parties will have to work with.

The far right and other extremists gaining seats in the EU Parliament indicate a worrying time ahead.

Yes, we may get changes in the EU and maybe some to our advantage – but at what cost?

EU Commission destroyed in raging inferno!

Well, not quite.

The fire in the basement could, of course, have been caused by dodgy electrics or a janitor having a crafty smoke, but it could be the MEPs burning their expense account statements…

By the way, if you’re in the crowd evacuated outside, watch out for MEPs pickpockets grabbing your wallet.

You know it makes sense.

In-phorm-ation technology

Why isn’t this news surprising?

Vivane Reding, the EU’s telecoms commissioner, said the commission will now investigate the Government’s implementation of European privacy laws.

“Technologies like internet behavioural advertising can be useful for businesses and consumers but they must be used in a way that complies with EU rules,” she said. “We have been following the Phorm case for some time and have concluded that there are problems in the way the UK has implemented parts of the EU rules on the confidentiality of communications.”

This government has scant regard for its citizens’ privacy so why not go and break a few privacy laws to put the tin lid on it?

Fantastic…try and be responsible and install anti-spyware software on your system and the government are going to let Phorm into it…why the fuck bother?

For once, let’s hope the EU gives our government a right kicking over this.

As it’s the Home Office’s area of ‘expertise’ let’s hope Jacqui Smith gets a kicking too.