Bashing the bishop

Blimey…you turn your back (that was completely unintentional) for a few days and there’s nothing but homophobia in the news.

We’ve got Labour shitting their pants because they know they’re going to get thrashed at the next General Election and accusing the Tories of being homophobic in some sort of desperate smear tactic.

All I can say to that is ‘Alan Duncan’.

Then there’s Ed ‘I’m a fucking idiot but I’m dead lucky with it because I’ve conned Gordon into thinking I’m indispensible’ Balls who is going to outlaw the term ‘gay’ in school when used as an insult.

All I can say to that is ‘how gay can you get?’

Then there’s the real jewel in the crown…

Meet the Bishop of Rochester, Dr Michael Nazir-Ali*:

This grinning twat wants homosexuals to:

repent and be changed

Repent?

WTF is this useless prick on about?

Being homosexual isn’t a matter of voluntary ‘sinning’ like shoplifting, rape or genocide. It’s something that you can’t help knowing is part of you, just as I know that I’m heterosexual.

Using an unfortunate choice of words (my emphasis) he’s also stated:

“We want to hold on to the traditional teaching of the Church. We don’t want to be rolled over by culture and trends in the Church.”

What’s with this ‘we’ crap?

The whole Church of England?

The whole country?

Mankind?

Speak for yourself, you fucking moron.

He’s going in September.

Good.

Fuck off you reactionary cunt.

It’s 2009 – not 1909.

*Interesting middle name – drop the ‘r’ and it really couldn’t be more apt.

Iain Dale fail

I don’t normally discuss specific blogs – except when I want to point out something positive.

I usually stick to generalisations when I’m criticising them.

However, Iain Dale’s blog seems to be copping some flak recently regarding Mad Nad Dorries, Julie ‘fiddling for a roof’ Kirkbride and now Alan ‘expenses are great, innit’ Duncan.

Tomorrow I am going to be interviewing Alan Duncan for Total Politics. Feel free to suggest questions you’d like me to ask him.

And then the fun starts.

Here’s a selection of the questions I don’t think Dale will be asking Duncan…

Are the flowers planted by Pound Force still in your lawn?

Can he see any conflict between compassionate conservatism as espoused by David Cameron and the values sought by Marc Rich in employees of his oil trading organisation?

Do you regret your remarks about murdering Miss California?!

Why did he act like such a smug cock about his expenses on HIGNFY?

Do you think people believe your tan is real ?

Because she paid her taxes, my mother gets an old age pension of £95 a week. By dint of thrift she has a private income of just under £5,000 a year which means that her pension is clawed back by £45 a month. Why is my mother’s income taxed so that MPs earning £68,000 a year can have free groceries worth £100 a week?

“After your performance on ‘Have I Got News For You’ why do you think that David Cameron has not withdrawn the whip”

Given that pretty well all the questions posed so far severely challenge your morality and your judgement, please can you provide your justification for continuing in office as an MP and Shadow Leader of the House, and one good reason why you should not be voted out at the next election.

Fuck you and the Cheeky Girl you rode in on

Lembit Opik – just another greedy troughing thieving cunt

Well, it’s a start I suppose, with one ‘sacking’ per side in the Brown versus Cameron ‘I’ve got bigger balls than you have’ contest.

The problem is that at the moment you’d need an electron microscope to detect any bollocks at all.

It’s almost amusing how the Tory bloggers are seizing on Dave’s token sacking of MacKay and praising him for showing firm leadership and then reflecting how glorious it will all be when the Tories win the next election, when peace, prosperity and harmony will be restored to this Sceptered Isle and we’ll all be living it up munching Mr Kipling’s French Fancies and quaffing Tizer.

Or something.

The sad fact is that due to the last 12 years of Labour’s fiscal ineptitude if the Tories do get in then public services will be cut and we’ll all be taxed more – not because they’re Tories but because we’re totally boracic.

Even if – by some miracle that will put anything in the Bible to shame – Labour do get another term the same unappetising scenario will ensue, although you can bet your boots that they won’t cut welfare payments which are, in their own way, as big a scandal as the MPs’ expenses troughing and far more expensive to fund.

(If I was pulling in every available benefit – really working the system in an effort not to work – then I’d certainly put my cross next to the name of a Labour candidate.)

Whoever gets in we face a decade of heavy taxation and reduced public spending.

More germane to this blog entry, whichever party gets in will still be composed of the same greedy fuckers their leaders have allowed to remain and the British public have voted for in their usual tribal fashion.

At present I can see no real sign that Brown, Cameron or even Clegg – who stands to gain a lot from the fall out over the whole expenses row – are taking anything approaching firm and decisive action.

I mean, FFS, Brown can’t even keep his bitches in line now:

Mr Miliband, the MP for South Shields, said it was “right to say sorry” and backed the Prime Minister’s calls for a new expenses system that would be seen as “wholly fair”.

But it is understood he will not be following the lead of MPs like Health Minister Phil Hope and paying back the taxpayers’ cash he claimed for his constituency home in the north east.

That’s just a big ‘fuck you’ to every taxpayer who’s funded his excesses that is.

If Brown had any balls he’d demote the little shit to the backbenches at the very least.

Similarly, Cameron has problems exercising his authority, with Alan Duncan paying back £4000 wrongly claimed for gardening, but David ‘Sack of shit’ Heathcote Amory being let off the hook completely despite submitting equally unallowable gardening claims.

Then there’s that snivelling little prick Opik who’s going to repay the eye-watering sum of £40 000 which he wrongly received for paying a tax summons.

Whilst I’m on the subject of this fucking clown, it’s worth quoting what he’s said about the Telegraph’s exposé of MPs’ expenses:

“The Telegraph have absolutely no empathy and no understanding, no willingness to give you the whole story, and that’s tragic.”

No, you wheedling little cunt, what’s tragic is you ripping me off, so fuck you and the Cheeky Girl you rode in on.

Fuck you all, you shower of corrupt and robbing cunts.

It’s so bloody depressing, and this normally peaceable blogger now keeps looking at lampposts, eyeing up lengths of  rope in hardware shops and then imagining a few of these thieving fuckers swinging in the breeze somewhere in Parliament Square.

For fuck’s sake, you so-called leaders – just do something that shows some leadership.

A cheque here, a resignation or a sacking there just doesn’t cut it.

We want heads.

Fucking rolling.

And lots of them.

Now.

Like right fucking now.