Jeremy Vine, stupid Brits and scrapped cars

It was nice of Alistair Darling to give the non-UK car manufacturers a boost in his budget yesterday:

Owners of old bangers who want to buy a new car can trade in their vehicle which is more than 10 years old for a £2,000 discount on the shiny new one.

I’m sure that he’ll be able to get a nice directorship at Fiat or Renault out of all this when he’s unemployed next year…

Earlier today, I was driving from the school where I work on Thursday to pick up some Euros (I got 1.08 to the £, which is about as good as it gets these days and is actually a pretty good rate) for our forthcoming French break.

On the radio was Jeremy Vine – the man with the most irritating cunting voice since Mystic fucking Meg – and he had a phone-in about the budget.

Now, I don’t have too much faith in the intellectual ability of your average Brit – alcopops, ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ and Lotto scratch cards are proof enough for me – but one caller in particular struck me as displaying a certain bovine quality that plumbed new depths.

The caller was complaining that the car scrapping scheme didn’t include cars 7 years old and she’d had to spend a couple of grand getting her Ford Ka (ouch!) fixed due to the central locking going tits up and also being involved in a collision ( if you can’t afford heavy repair bills then fully comp is an excellent wheeze).

Even Jeremy Vine was speechless – and it’s his job to say something – and just muttered something about it only being applicable to cars over 10 years old.

Where the fuck are people at?

I mean, it’s a shit way of boosting the economy, but it’s for that purpose, not just Uncle Ali giving us a couple of grand for a shiny new motor.

Not good enough for the British public?

In which case, why not just throw money at people whenever they want it and for any reason?

Oh.

We do?

In that case, can I have £2000 towards a new car, please?

I mean, for fuck’s sake, mine’s nearly five years old and I recently spent £30 on new carpets for it!