Worst guitar playing ever?

About a million years ago, Deep Purple recorded an absolutely spiffing instrumental titled ‘Wring That Neck’ which I’ve always liked – especially live as I featured here not too long ago.

Well, just now, I was pottering about on Spotify – possibly the best music service ever – and found this. (You can only hear the track if you’re on Spotify, so if you’re not, sign up for a free account NOW!).

I almost fell off my fucking chair when I heard it.

It’s a version of ‘Wring That Neck’ by a band called ‘Global Warming’ and it has to feature some of the worst guitar playing I’ve ever heard – either that, or it’s a work of genius by someone who wants to sound bad – but I doubt that…

The opening guitar takes a while to settle down into keeping the same key but then cunningly loses the key centre in the head, regains it and then loses it again.

There then follows a bit of impro which, quite frankly, stinks – no other term will do – and then gets worse and then, in desperation, auto-wah is switched on briefly before the next impro section.

Somehow, the guitarist manages to top each chorus with even worse playing than the one before – some achievement.

I sort of feel sorry for the bassist and drummer who play adequately and had to suffer this clown on guitar, although they lose points for not telling him how shit he was and then burning his guitar and amp.

Whoever the guitarist is, he has Van Gogh’s ear for music – the one he cut off.

Straight up, imagine Eric Morecombe on piano in the classic Morecombe and Wise sketch with Andre Previn – all the right notes but not necessarily in the right order – and you might get a hint as to the masterpiece of sheer unalloyed crapness that Global Warming have created with this track.

Now, I love music, but this track has to take the fucking biscuit as far as bad guitar playing goes – in fact, it takes a whole lorry load of them.

Please give it a listen – it’s truly shite.

By the way, if the guitarist is reading this, sorry mate but you’re fucking terrible.

Could I do better?

Fuck, yes.