One of the benefits of writing a blog, as far as I’m concerned anyway, is having an outlet for ranting at all manner of annoyances, irritations and bugbears. These may not be a problem to the reader but it’s my blog, so tough shit.
Today, it’s the turn of…
Useful for taking time out to put the kettle on/have a piss/feed the cat/pour another glass of wine/order a takeaway/have a wank but mostly indispensible and easily screened out if you’re in the same room when they’re on.
Of course, there are exceptions to this when a TV advert is either very good or very bad.
Generally speaking, Guinness adverts are usually worth watching, as well as some of the better Honda adverts. Some are even good because they’re so bad – the Shake ‘N’ Vac advert of a few years ago is a good example.
However, many are just so amazingly and obviously awful – indeed, Kellogg’s don’t seem to have made a decent advert ever as far as I can see. Then there’s the mind-numbing Clairol/Oil of Olay/Maybelline cosmetics ads (surely some women can’t be that gullible) and most car adverts (surely some men can’t be that gullible) often make me wonder what drugs ad agency staff are ingesting.
Whatever new high they’ve scored from their local sink estate drugs lab should be named so that it can be avoided and something comparatively harmless like a heroin and PCP speedball be safely injected.
However, there seems to be an increasing number of TV adverts which just seem downright fucking pointless and make me wonder exactly what goes through the minds of the people who commission, devise, approve and finance them.
The prime example of this and the most irritating of all is the current series of adverts for the Halifax.
I’ve seen 4 different ones; all, apparently, featuring Halifax staff.
They’re set in a radio station which doesn’t exist and feature Halifax employees being ‘groovy’ with a very limited amount of success. Why a radio station, for fucking fuck’s sake?
What the fuck has this got to do with banks?
What does some overweight ginger shithead blathering into a microphone tell me about the Halifax’s products? Or some vacuous bint twitching her head and singing ‘Isa, Isa baby’? Or some airhead spilling her tea over a mixing console that isn’t actually hooked up to anything else and that represents a bank clerk’s annual salary?
And all this to convince the great British public that an Isa will offer them a good return on their investment and that a free fiver a month is enough to persuade them to deposit their monthly salary in a Halifax current account.
Apart from trying to get your custom I reckon that the other purpose of this campaign is make the a bank look all ‘cuddly’ after the reputation of banks plummeted during the ‘credit crunch’ and all the associated turmoil – bail outs, bonuses and other financial fuckery.
But you know what really fucking pisses me off about these adverts? It’s that some overpaid, under-educated fucking shit-for-brains bell-end thought that the British public would actually swallow this shower of arse gravy.
And do you know what pisses me off even more? It’s that in many cases they probably thought right…