In praise of champagne drinkers

This recent tweet…

Nice to see Cameron drinking champagne whilst cutting pay for nurses and teachers

…made me see red.

Or, rather, detect red.

It refers to this ‘story’, which features a photograph (see above) of Call me Dave sipping champagne at the Tory Conference yesterday, in flagrant defiance of Eric Pickles’ ban on the stuff.

I’m going to quote it in full, as it merits a fisking.

David Cameron quaffs £140-a-bottle bubbly

Was it, in fact, £140 a bottle champagne or cheap champagne, or maybe just some Cava? And so fucking what if it did cost £140 a bottle? It was supplied by the Spectator magazine, so it didn’t cost the taxpayer a penny.

with his rich chums

And journalists who seem to have a talent for sniffing out free booze…

just hours before the Tories announced a pay freeze for millions of ordinary workers.

What fucking pay freeze? The Mirror seems to have prematurely ejaculated its news spunk in a similar manner to the twitterer quoted above. These cuts are only proposals.

No cunt has cut anything yet – more’s the fucking pity…

Mr Cameron flouted a champagne ban imposed by his own party chairman

Pie Boy Pickles didn’t actually ban champagne. Yes, he wanted to deny the press the chance to come out with shit like the Mirror did today but it was more like advice: “Mr Pickles had declared that he wanted to see ‘less Champagne bubbles and more bubbling activity’.” (He) was keen to avoid accusations the Tories believe the election is in the bag: “It’s actually a humbling thing.”

When we caught him sipping fizz at an exclusive party, heavy-handed minders immediately moved in and tried to stop us leaving with the embarrassing snap.

Ah…the poor persecuted Press. Striking a blow for truth and justice. Are they fucking bollocks.

Union boss Dave Prentis said: “It is sickening. This is the real face of the Tories.

This is where my brain went into total fucking meltdown and nearly imploded. I blogged about a certain Derek Simpson a few months ago. Yes, the Unite leader who pisses away union funds on £400 a night hotel rooms. In light of this and other union boss excesses, there’s no way to put my response to Prentis other than, ‘fuck off, you putrid smear of hypocritical cockdribble.’

“Champagne for Cameron and his crew, as though the recession never happened, while millions face a thirsty future with frozen pay, job and pension cuts.”

That’s free champagne – always hard to refuse, especially when someone plonks a glass in your hand, as seems to be the case with Cameron – and a thirsty future no matter who gets into power next year. One glass of champagne more or less isn’t going to alter the fact that the economy is fucked.

This whole champagne metaphor really is getting a bit tired, isn’t it?

You can buy a bottle for about £15, which we occasionally do in a mixed case of 6 bottles from Majestic wine. We do this in preference to buying a multibuy of 60 bottles of Stella for £20 from Tesco.

So, I sometimes choose to drink champagne rather than Stella (not that I drink that horrible fizzy piss anyway).

Does that make me a ‘toff’?

Do I sound like a fucking toff?

Fuck…sometimes we go mad and buy a bottle of something better like Veuve Clicquot for £30.

So fucking what? It’s my money and I’m not spending taxpayer-funded benefit on it.

Has it really come to this? Are we really getting back to the cliche of the top-hatted Toff quaffing champers versus the flat-capped worker swigging his pint of best bitter?

Times have changed since that scenario – if it ever existed outside the media – and people conveniently forget that wealth, privilege and dynastic entitlement are no longer restricted to one sector of society.

If proof were needed then I only really need one word:


Wealth? – it’ll cost you £180 to get a photo opp with Tony. Goes some way to shoring up a vast personal fortune that is sometimes dubiously amassed. And at least Cameron made his money before his likely Premiership.

Privilege? – there are still questions to be asked about that mortgage.

Dynastic entitlement? – how long until we get a young Leo Blair parachuted in to a safe Labour seat?10 years?

What Blair and NuLabour have created is a political class just as corrupt, devious and decadent as any upper class stereotype hauled out to reinforce the prejudices of the ignorant and easily-swayed.

It says much about the desperation levels of the left wing media that once more they have to resort to such shoddy tactics and it reveals a contempt for the electorate that borders on the cynical.

It’s not the champagne drinkers we need to worry about – it’s the cuntjobs who don’t want us to drink it that pose the biggest threat to our society.


To be honest, you’re better off with something like a Cremant – Jura, Alsace or Bourgogne – than cheap champagne. It’s cheaper and often far better. Don’t underestimate Prosecco, either. A decent one, well chilled, is a cheap but worthy substitute.

One Response

  1. A deluxe double room at Brown’s Hotel in Mayfair, part of the Rocco Forte collection of worldwide boutique hotels and pretty damn hard to beat for quality anywhere in the world will cost you about £380 including VAT and breakfast if you have any sort of regular custom. A single business user should be able to pick up an executive room on a single basis for about £320 inc VAT and breakfast if he’s got any nouse. This is the top of the range – there is no excuse for a Union leader to be paying more.

    You can bulk-buy champagne from wholesalers at £14-15 per bottle ex-VAT that 99% of people would not be able to distinguish from a Grande Marque NV champagne that retails for £30-40. Very, very few mass catering events in my experience serve £140 a bottle champagne – there is just no point.

    And as you say, if The Spectator were paying, so fucking what?

    I just wish that more of these places would serve a decent red instead – much more civilised. I have never understood the concept of the Champagne Reception.

    I am probably a pleb.

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