Banning the tanning

It beats me why some people hold having a tan in such high regard, but if someone wants to look like a giant fucking satsuma with legs then good luck to them.

Now, however, if you get a suntan artificially it looks as if you’re soon going to find your options restricted.

The Welsh Assembly looks set to ban sunbed sessions for under 18s and also coin-operated sunbeds.

I can see the wisdom in some sort of restrictions on sunbeds for reasons such as this…

Over the Easter holidays, a 10-year-old girl from Port Talbot suffered 70% burns after putting £8 into a coin-operated sunbed and spent 16 minutes on the bed.

…and, one has to ask, where the fuck were her parents in all of this, but it’s not a good thing to happen no matter what the various causes were.

Surely, however, we can restrict use to a reasonable age – say 16? – by making unsupervised beds payable only with a debit or credit card.

Then, if you decide that you want your thighs ‘au point’ or your arse flesh falling off the bone then you’re over 16 and it’s your fucking decision and not some pasty-faced fuck with nothing better to do than interfere with your right to be an orange fucktard…

9 Responses

  1. All of those stories involving idiot girls desiccating themsleves in some chav sunbed parlour have originated in South Wales, so frankly I’m in favour of this law. i.e the fucking Morlocks plainly haven’t got the common sense that God gave goats, and therefore should be banned form harming themselves.

    I also endorse the removal of of their driver’s licences and the confiscation of any metal cutlery.

  2. I’m OK preventing 10 year old kids whose parents don’t give a fuck from cooking themselves but anyone else…fill your fucking boots.

  3. With which is my opinion entirely; was being a bit factitious.

    I’ve a friend who works as a researcher for Plaid Cymru, and after that last girl in Barry -14yo, I think- burned herself after spending 15 minutes in one, his first response was to write to his local paper suggesting that this was an industry in need of regulation.

    My first response was that it was a self-solving problem; the daft bint probably won’t do that again in a hurry, will she?

    Letting kids come to harm in them is probably covered by existing legislation, though; either neglect on the part of the parents, or negligence on the part of the proprietor. That doesn’t grab as many headlines however, and the AM’s can’t be seen to be ‘doing something’ that way.

  4. Tell you what though, Edwina Hart AM needs to lay off the fucking pies, doesn’t she?

    She’d be OK on a sunbed for 30 minutes, I reckon, until the fat all started to melt away.

  5. Jesus. Rather fuck her than fight her.

  6. Fucking hell, Salty…

    Give me the gloves and throw me in the fucking ring – there’s no way I’m going to give that one with my pink harpoon…

  7. I’ve had worse….leave her to me.
    You run, save yourself. I’m only slowing you down.

  8. Thank ‘ee, Cap’n Ahab!

  9. Self-basting.

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