But it’s for the Cheeldren! – and another fake charity exposed

I dunno…you wait all fucking day for a news story that reveals rampant stupidity and then three of the cunts come along all at the same time…and all to do with the Cheeldren

The first to arrive was this:

Parents should not allow under-fives to touch animals at petting farms, a microbiologist has said amid E.coli fears involving four sites.

Professor Hugh Pennington said they were “most likely to touch the animals” and “the most difficult part of the population to get to wash their hands”.

Well, Prof, there’s an easy answer to this medical conundrum, although I’m no microbiologist, and it has to do with good parenting. Parents should encourage, train and tell their children to wash their hands from an early age.

So that it becomes a good habit.

Who knows, they may well go on to a career flipping dog burgers in McDonalds or making Greggs pasties and we don’t all want to go down with the galloping shits for lack of soap and water.

File under ‘public education’.



No, not a ploy to introduce smut into this post but cycle helmets.

Members of the Association of Paediatric Emergency Medicine (APEM) and the College of Emergency Medicine have called for the law to be changed so under 16s have to wear helmets.

Dr John Heyworth, president of the College of Emergency Medicine, said: “As an Emergency Medicine consultant I have seen a number of children present with serious head injuries resulting from bicycle riding.

“It is extremely frustrating to know the extent of these injuries could have been dramatically reduced had the child worn a helmet.

Ah…a doctor…they seem to have a lot to say recently – most of which is ill-considered shite.

And it’s not quite that simple, doc:

…the effectiveness of cycle helmets was questioned three years ago when a study found that drivers took more care when they saw a cyclist without a helmet.

Ian Walker, a traffic psychologist, found that motorists drove three inches closer to somebody wearing protective headgear than to their bare-headed counterparts.

I heard an interview yesterday with a guy who ran school cycling classes and he came up with a very valid point – that any effort to reduce cycling accidents should be put into teaching people to ride safely rather than making the wearing of helmets compulsory.

Eminently sensible, I’d say, rather than the predictable kneejerk reaction of ‘Ban, ban, ban!’…

And, again, parents have a part to play in all this. If you buy your child a bike then make sure that he or she can ride the fucker properly and safely.

After all, you’re probably the first cunt to moan when a fellow car driver cuts you up or fails to signal which way they’re turning.

And it’s your fucking kid.

File under ‘public education’.

The last story concerns bullying in school.

Leading education lawyers and charities are calling for a change in the law to protect vulnerable young people from extreme bullying in England and Wales.

Head teachers are not being held accountable for violent and abusive pupils and anti-bullying guidelines should be strengthened, they claim.

The Children’s Legal Centre said more parents had been seeking legal advice.

The Children’s Legal Centre…that’s a body I’ve never heard of before.


The Children’s Legal Centre is an independent charity which takes an active interest in law and policy as they affect children, and provides both legal information helplines and direct representation through its legal practice unit. The Centre receives funding from the Community Fund, the Children’s Fund, the Home Office and the Department of Health.



With ‘funding from the Community Fund, the Children’s Fund, the Home Office and the Department of Health‘?

A word appears to be missing from this – The Children’s Legal Centre is an independent charity – just before the word ‘charity’…


Yes, it’s a fake charity.

And it’s a previously unidentified one.

(Yes, of course I’ve submitted details to fakecharities.org!)

Anyway, what do these taxpayer-subsidised gravytrain-riding shit-suckers want?

Alison Fiddy, from the Children’s Legal Centre, agrees head teachers need to be held more accountable: “We need to see heads being held accountable,” she said.

But Mick Brooks, president of the NAHT, said head teachers were already held to account in a number of different ways and “hyper-accountability [is] out there already”.


Laws, regulations and procedures for dealing with bullying exist already.

Why do we need another layer of bureaucracy and legislation?

File under: ‘Why are these vole-felching cuntsocks always wasting our fucking money?’

And, of course, you can hear the Righteous cry, ‘But it’s for the children!’

Is it?

Is it really?

Is it fuck.


5 Responses

  1. I’ve been known to ride a bike occasionally .. .. .. ..

    Juniorff1 attended the cycling proficiency course at her school about a year ago and passed at the top of the group. Later that week we went for a ride from home to her school to work out which route she would use now that the school would allow to ride in and her road skills were absolutely fucking appalling. After 3 hours with me riding with her she is much much safer on and we now let her ride on the roads.

    It seems the proficiency course is seen more as an MOT for the machines, rather than a training session that will teach life-saving abilities, by some of the instructors many of whom don’t actually ride bikes other than for the course.

  2. It’s no different to driving a car.

    You can put a safe driver in a mechanically sound Rover Rustbucket costing £500 or a cunt in a brand new Roadshagger Turbo costing £50 000 but if a cunt’s at the wheel the Rover is the safer car every time.

    It’s what’s in the head of the driver that saves lives or doesn’t and what’s in the head of Juniorff1 that’s going to matter in the long run – not a helmet…

  3. In every single case where compulsion is attempted, there are unintended consequences. The righteous either can’t, or don’t want to, see them.

    With bike helmets, a law to make them compulsory in Canada resulted in a doubling of head injuries.

    As usual, the righteous ignored that as it didn’t fit with their pre-determined view.

    They are quite simply horrendous cunts.

    Seat belt law hasn’t led to 60,000 lives saved either. Pure stats show that as pure, unadulterated, bullshit.

  4. The theory of risk compensation wins out once again.

    Read “Risk” by John Adams for more on the psychology at work here..

    Or Wikipedia I s’pose.


  5. […] Filed under: Commie Bastards, Motoring — Al Jahom @ 4:38 pm Steve Shark has run a post that touches upon the effectiveness and consequences of cycle-helmets for children, and the merits […]

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