Pink Floyd dead

Of course…I was very…very…drunk

So, it’s goodbye to Keith Floyd.

Seen by many – including myself – as the first real celebrity chef, I reckon he was the best because of this.

After all, there’s only so many times you can stand to see some cunt cooking something a bit strange in foreign parts, like Ulan Bator or Wales.

I also liked the way he often appeared on the screen as if he’d partaken of a beverage or two and, occasionally, he seemed to be rather more ‘relaxed’, not to say completely pissed off his tits.

I still use his Boeuf Bourgignon recipe that I found in one of his books many years ago.

Amongst the ingredients are a bottle of red wine, a cup of dry sherry and a good measure of brandy – which gives you some indication of Floyd’s lack of reserve when it came to booze.

It’s a bloody good recipe too and I always use it for that dish.

I see Jamie Oliver has a new TV series called ‘Jamie’s American Roadtrip’, which as far as I can see is practically the same format as Floyd used 20 years ago when he visited the land of the clinically obese and terminally stupid free.

It’s also the same format as two hairy cockends on motorbikes cooking stuff in Britain, Rick Stein cooking fish every fucking where and Hugh Fearnley-Whateverthefuckhe’scalled catching fish and eating them.

There was none of this social conscience bollocks with Floyd, either.

None of Jamie’s concern for the size of his carbon cunting footprint whilst making his new series – none of the self-promoting crusading that Hugh Whogives-Aflyingfuckwhathiscuntingnameis embarked on when he decided to save the poor little chickens.

No supermarket deals – no ‘Keith Floyd’ label pasta sauces – no campaign to make every school kid eat salads – no fucking gimmicks whatsoever.

Floyd just wanted to cook, eat well, get a bit pissed, make enough money to maintain his somewhat hedonsitic lifestyle and enjoy himself.

And that to me is what Floyd was all about.

I’d say he was pretty successful in spite of not being a particularly astute businessman – he seemed to enjoy himself and I think he cared that the viewer did too and then went on to enjoy cooking what he saw on the TV.

A good and productive life in my book…


5 Responses

  1. “Floyd just wanted to cook, eat well, get a bit pissed, make enough money to maintain his somewhat hedonsitic lifestyle and enjoy himself.”

    Don’t we all?

  2. Always enjoyed Keiths shows, with the amount of plonk he drank i cant imagine him being allowed on our righteous TV screens today though unlike Hugh Furrycricketball everytime i switch the box on i get confronted with his mole like features.

  3. Really, apart from the galloping gourmet (remember him?) he was the only tv chef I ever enjoyed watching. I particularly liked the ones where he showed you how to make a drink to go with your meal… and then drank the whole jug while cooking!

  4. wh00ps

    Graham Kerr, and I always think of the two together. Upon hearing of the demise of Floyd, I and two friends on Wednesday night went into the heart of London’s Soho to Randall & Aubins, drank copious amounts of wine and had a mariscale with lobster for three. We then had a steak each just to make sure.


  5. Hmmm – “Floyd just wanted to cook, eat well, get a bit pissed, make enough money to maintain his somewhat hedonsitic lifestyle and enjoy himself. Don’t we all?”

    Well, I would contend that “live a lot longer than 65 years” would have also featured on that list if anyone had actually asked him. And he had no cash to continue being hedonistic because (yet another) ex-wife was fleecing him for his last sou. Plus from the programme about him last week his very self-awareness that he had turned into an obnoxious, arrogant pisshead and irretrievable cunt was palpable in his every sweaty, laboured, dying breath. His self-loathing was bountifully evident in his demeanour after he told his daughter – who he hadn’t seen or contacted in 10 years – to “shut your fucking face” at their reunion dinner. Giles Coren has it right (as ever) here:

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