Scottish quiz night madness

I’m not going to write an in-depth examination of the new laws passed in Scotland to try and reduce alcohol consumption or even argue against all of them.

All I’ll say is that all you non-smokers who like a drink down your local and who rejoiced when the smoking ban came in had better start realizing that that was but the thin end of a very thick wedge…

If you want to know all about the situation in Scotland and more then Dick Puddlecote and Rantin’ Rab have both blogged very eloquently on the subject.

However, one of the measures really caught my eye for which I can see no valid reason and which just flies in the face of all common sense and logic:

A prize of “cash behind the bar” can no longer be given as a reward for winning a pub quiz

Now, I think pub quizzes are a good thing.

Maybe not every night in every pub, but they help to take a boozer from being simply just a place to booze in to a different purpose in the local community once in a while.

And why the cunting fuck not?

They’re maybe not for everyone – I tried one once but it wasn’t for me – but they’re a lot better for a night out than just watching people drink, if that’s what floats your boat.

So, what’s wrong with a cash prize?

Maybe £30 shared between 4 people after a couple of hours of questions?

That’s not enough money to get bladdered on afterwards when split 3 or 4 ways and it’s not as if you’re going to get Stella-swigging chavs pissing it up the wall afterwards – chavs aren’t usually known for participating in such events.

I’m guessing most pub quiz winners just take part for the craic and then any dosh won just defrays the cost of a few drinks quaffed during the quiz itself.

No, all I can think of is that the lawmakers have decided that if there is cash to be won in a pub then people are going to spend it on booze.

Well, so fucking what?

Who the fuck are they to tell people what they can win and how they should spend their money?

Where does all this stop?

How many more bars and clubs have got to close as more and more people decide to stay at home and choose what and how much to drink – and smoke – because it’s just no fucking fun going out any more?

So many questions and this isn’t even a fucking quiz night.

All we can hope is that what’s happening in Scotland won’t happen here.

I wouldn’t bet on it, though.


18 Responses

  1. I can hear a press conference involving the words “after successful trials in Scotland…” already.

  2. I now know for absolute sure that it’s possible to laugh and cry simultaneously.

    Fucking communists.


  3. Holy fucking Moses and all the little kittens… some of the pub quizzes I’ve been to didn’t even have cash as the prize. They had alcohol. Cut out the middle man and get straight down to business! Given that every pub quiz I’ve been to has been a fine example of cheerful community warmth, that’s bloody ludicrous.

  4. Perhaps next the QCA will set the questions and non-approved questions will be ineligible.

    Prizes must be in the form of meted out self-flagellation, denial, absitnence,

    Of course, there must be enough prizes for all, and questions must not discriminate against the blind, deaf, dumb, quadraplegic, black, asian, lesbian, transgender, dwarven or craven.

    Woe betide you. Look at how they killed live music in pubs if you think I’m over-egging it.

  5. I think it depends where you live (ie your local ‘authority’). There are several pubs around here that feature regular live music. The one i’m going to tonight is a smallish one that doesn’t even have garden to smoke in. The one thing that will kill it is the hikes in beer prices.

  6. It’s not good here in Milton Keynes.

    I’ve been involved playing live music in the area for about 40 years and in the 70s and 80s you couldn’t lose with a band getting pub gigs.

    Although I’m glad to say I’ve moved on a bit venue-wise from those it’s a nightmare for young live bands now.
    No major venue either – unless you count the Bowl and that’s criminally underused.

    They might as well fucking tax ‘fun’ and ensure we stay at home watching arse gravy like Strictly Come Dancing and the X Factor.


  7. ugh, I hope not. Although I’m sure that’s the endgame; everyone safely in their hutches at night and not down the bierkellers plotting putsches. Big city like milton keynes they probably have it all sown up, I Think down here they are more concerned with attracting out-of-town cash with the night life, although live music seems to be a feature even in the back-street spit-and-sawdust places, some of which evenI, a local, would hesitate to venture into.

  8. MK? Big city?

    rofl… you’ve not been…

  9. MK – it’s very easy to knock it.

    And why the fuck not?

    The more I live in it, the less I like it.

    File under ‘shit hole’.

  10. I got sent there by the company for a week a couple of years ago, but since everywhere i went looked like everywhere else i went (like the edge of a motorway) I suppose I could have v thought it was bigger than it was…

  11. plus, from what i remember it’s flat, very very flat? Hard to tell how far you’ve gone when you’ve been brought up with hills…

  12. There’s the odd rise or two but the most contours probably belong to all the cunting speed humps.
    (Wow…my iPhone auto-completed cunting.)
    The centre used to be a very windy group of fields.
    Yes, I am that old…

  13. In the classical tradtition of the law of unintended consequences, speed bumps are an incredibly powerful sales tool for 4×4 salesmen.. and if I lived in somewhere like Windsor, I’d have 2 of the fuckers.

    To say nothing of the fact that they have been shown to cause structural damage to adjacent properties as the shock from lorries and buses is dissipated, and increase polution due to decellerating and accelerating.


  14. What with the humps and all the roundabout it’s also a good place to be a motor mechanic.

  15. Love the Daytona circuit though….

    Fancy a race, Steve?

  16. We could invite those B&D mincers to make up the numbers.. .

  17. I don’t think they’ve prepped their Reliant Robins yet.
    The Singer motors aren’t quite ready.

  18. Maybe they’re too busy doing naked water surfing on lake Titty KaKa….

    While mum’s downstairs baking animal shaped reconstituted shire.

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