MPs’ expenses row sorted – the £500 solution!

David Heathcoat-Amory

A sack of shit

Many thanks to David Heathcoat-Amory for inspiring me to come up with this radical solution to the problem of MPs’ expenses.

First, some background – Mr Heathcoat-Amory has been successfully claiming for horse manure and has spent £388.80 of taxpayers’ money on about 550 bags of the stuff.

Now, here’s the clever bit.

I reckon we could get about 700 bags of horse manure for about £500.

We get them delivered to the House of Commons and then we kick out all the lying sacks of shit that are already there.

All of them.

(And not too gently, either – no-one will be allowed to empty their desk and the few policemen we can trust will hurry the eviction along with tasers and water cannon.)

We then install our own sacks of shits in their place.

Of course, we’ll have a few sacks spare, so we can replace another sack of shit there – the Speaker.

Any spare sacks of shit could be used to replace ones that burst or decay away to nothing.

Any old and useless sacks of shit that have to be removed from the Commons can then be installed in the Lords.

Now that’s real bang for the taxpayer’s buck.

Come on – let’s do it…

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3 Responses

  1. […] Original post by steveshark […]

  2. Fantastic idea. Presumably the new sacks of shit wouldn’t need expenses either. It’s a bargain.
    But then, which sack of shit becomes PM?

  3. The biggest sack, of course…
    We could make one especially bigger and call it…er…BROWN!

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