It’s been a fuck of a struggle to find one, but at last…

‘Honest’ Kelvin Hopkins

…an honest MP!

Meet Kelvin Hopkins who, somewhat ironically, lives in the same street as his colleague Margaret ‘Porker’ Moran.

Here’s what he says about his expenses:

I am not making comment on any other MPs’ claims, but for my part I do not have a second home, I have just one house in Luton where I live.

I claim only for my staff salaries – which are paid directly to them by Parliament, for the cost of running an office and for travel. Occasionally I stay overnight in London in a (modest) hotel if I have a late vote followed by a very early meeting the next day.
I do find it tiring but it works for me, I live about a mile from the station so I drive there or get a taxi. When I come home it means that I can check through all my letters and see my staff, and I can be here for anything in the constituency.

I believe that the state should own parliamentary flats and rent them out to MPs who need them and that all the expenses should be much more restrictive, with no scope for abuse. The rules at the moment are clearly nonsense but even if they are nonsense, they shouldn’t be abused. I am astonished at some of the stories that have emerged and I quite frankly I didn’t know that all those things were possible to claim for within the rules.

So, if you fancy popping a dog turd through Piggy Moran’s letter box, just make sure you’ve got the right address.

Don’t stick a steaming pile of shit through Kelvin’s flap – he’s one of the good guys…

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