Ejaculations from a Bell end

Sir Stuart Bell (who is the psychotic motherfucker who keeps nominating these useless wankstains for knighthoods?) – has announced that he’s going to find out who’s behind the plan to offer details of MPs’ expenses claims to the press for the sum of £300 000.

All of the receipts of 650-odd MPs, redacted and un-redacted, are for sale at a price of £300,000, so I am told. The price is going up because of the interest in the subject…we have a pretty good idea of not the person, but the source, and that is a subject of a House of Commons investigation. It’s probably a breach of the Official Secrets Act. It may be a theft, but we will get to the bottom of it. In the public interest, by the way. We don’t believe that the newspapers will buy all of the 655 for £300,000, but they may wish to take say 10 senior MPs in the limelight and then there’ll be a drip-drip of their expenses.

Some translation from CUNTSPEAK would seem to be in order here, in order to clarify what at first reading seems like bullshit.

Receipts – evidence of misuse of public money.

650-odd MPs – 655 odd MPs

Redacted – sanitised.

Un-redacted – truthful.

£300 000 – 1) total expenses fiddled claimed by two MPs, 2) a drop in the ocean.

So I am told – so some overpaid minion informs me.

Interest in the subject – public outrage.

House of Commons investigation – in camera bullshit session in the Commons smoking room, followed by whitewash and suppression of information in the public interest.

Probably – do you really expect me to tell you the full details, you greasy little oik? Besides, I don’t even know them myself – I’m making this shit up as I go along.

May be – see above.

In the public interest – not in the public interest.

By the way – you might not believe me, but I really don’t care what you or the public thinks.

655 – shower of useless spunkbubbles.

10 senior MPs – the 10 worst and/or well-known of the faceless cheating fuckers.

In the limelight – guilty of fraud.

NOW it makes sense…

But it’s still bullshit.

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