Pr0n and the Two Homes Secretary

“Tell me when you need this tissue, darling”

“Oh, not until tomorrow when you’re in the House…”

Oh dear, dear, dear…

More excrement has hit Jacqui Smith’s air conditioning unit.

It’s too early to reach any firm conclusion over this, but a quick trawl through news sites and then a long ponder by your blogger has come up with several possibilities and scenarios.

Here’s a quick and by no means comprehensive list of them:

1. Mr Jacqui Smith watched porn films and had a wank.

2. Mr Jacqui Smith was very stupid to think that he’d not leave some sort of ‘paper trail’ – and I don’t mean used Kleenex…

3. Mr Jacqui Smith was very stupid not to realise that a TV package was ordered in error – as his missus suggests – before he’d managed to wank his way through two porn films and also watch ‘Oceans 11’ and ‘Surf’s Up’.

4. Mrs Jacqui Smith did indeed order a TV package in error, but watched the same films as her husband did along with the two other less racy examples of the cinematographer’s art.

5. Mrs Jacqui Smith did indeed order a TV package in error, but only watched the two less racy films.

6. Mrs Jacqui Smith was very stupid not to realise that a TV package was ordered in error before she managed to sit through all four films.

7. Mrs Jacqui Smith was very stupid not to realise that a TV package had been ordered in error before she watched ‘Oceans 11’ and ‘Surf’s Up’.

8. Neither Mr nor Mrs Jacqui Smith really looked at what was on the expenses claim form before signing and submitting it.

9. Mrs Jacqui Smith lets Mr Jacqui Smith do all her paperwork.

10. Mr and/or Mrs Jacqui Smith are totally fucking clueless as to what they can legitimately claim.

11. Mr and Mrs Jacqui Smith are devious cunts.

12. Mr and/or Mrs Jacqui Smith did in fact knowingly order a TV package paid for with her parliamentary allowance.

If I was a betting man, I’d put everything on 1, although I suspect the odds would be very short…

However, 11 and 12 are certainly worth a punt based on this old nag and her jockey’s past form.

This extract from the BBC News site’s coverage amused me:

BBC political correspondent, Gary O’Donoghue, said a source told him Ms Smith was “livid and shocked” when she found out about the two adult films.

He said he was told Ms Smith had not been at home when they were viewed and said she had no intention of resigning over the matter.

Mr O’Donoghue said he was told Ms Smith had given her husband, who is also her parliamentary assistant, a “real ear-bashing”.

Mr Jacqui Smith presumably took care of any cock-bashing that was to be done, with him being quite handy, so it would seem, at cracking one off and all that…

Now, I have no problem with porn – as long as it doesn’t involve criminal acts and is produced and consumed by consenting adults – but I do have a problem with what was at best rank stupidity and at worst a total misuse of privilege on the part of one of those who ‘govern’ us.

How much shit needs to hit Jacqui Smith’s fan before she has to resign?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: