Out of Africa

Red Nose Day again…

It’s one of those times I feel like a) leaving the country b) throwing one of the cats at the TV c) hunting down Lenny Henry or one of the other cunts due to be on the show and killing them horribly or d) all the previous three.

It’s not that I’m immune to all the problems in – mainly – Africa, just that I’m starting to wonder whether any of this stuff actually does anyone any good apart from the various celebs and the corrupt regimes in Africa who seem to have swallowed aid more enthusiastically than Linda Lovelace used to swallow cocks.

To be honest, I think all we’re doing is putting off the inevitable – basically mass deaths from starvation and disease and bloody and multiple civil wars.

It’s totally beyond our control now.

Tell you what…

Let’s write off all African debt so that we have no claim on the countries there and therefore no influence on their governments and their economies, ban the arms dealers from selling any more of their shit there, have one last grand fundraising exercise and then send over plane loads of tools and people to advise on how to use them – no food or money – pull out completely by 2012 and then let them decide their own destinies.

So, it means that some people won’t get to feel good about chucking their 50p in a collection bucket and  the celebs will have to find another way to look as if they really give a fuck but unless we want to prolong Africa’s agonies any longer we have to let them get on with it.

Some may well disagree.

PS It might also help matters if someone could persuade the Pope not to be such a cunt about birth control.


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