Shithead alert!

Much as it grieves me to say this, but it isn’t only the Daily Mail that has shitheads on its payroll.

I’ve recently discovered Iain Martin who blogs on the Daily Telegraph site.

After some cursory research I’ve discovered that he is in fact the Deputy Editor of the Tory broadsheet, with almost zero journalistic experience.

He’s also a favourite of the Barclay Brothers – a fact that I’d fucking keep to myself if it was me.

After all, you wouldn’t go round boasting that you had genital warts, would you?

I see little difference…

Anyway, what’s Iain blogged about recently that’s attracted my attention?


Martin’s blog entry is reproduced here in full and interspersed with my comments…

It is right that Jeremy Clarkson should be forced to apologise for his crass and offensive insult aimed at the Prime Minister.

It is?

And who’s going to force him?

He has apologised, in fact, and later qualified this apology.

Basically, Clarkson thinks Brown is an idiot.

If he has to apologise for that opinion that he has a perfect right to hold and express then we’re all totally fucked…

But watching that supremely annoying show, QI, on BBC 1 last night,

How is it annoying?

Don’t you get the jokes?

Too intellectual for you, are they?

Or is it just that it’s one of the few TV shows left that actually has some sort of  teeth to its humour and appeals to those people left that can still think for themselves without people like you telling them what to laugh at?

Not to your taste?

Rather watch ‘Deal or No Deal’ because it has a banker in it – you know, one of your City friends?

Those same friends who got us into the biggest financial mess of the past 50 years…

Turn over then!

and unable to summon up the energy to change channels,

Ah…well…serves you right for being such a lazy cunt, then.

You have no-one but yourself to blame for being offended by what you saw.

And, assuming you have a remote control, how much effort would changing channels really require?

Not only a lazy cunt, but a pathetically lazy one, too…

I was one of millions treated to Jo Brand’s remarks on Baroness Thatcher.


And your point is?

I am often one of millions who get treated to opinions and remarks I don’t want to see or hear from the media.

However, I realise that it’s all in the interests of freedom of speech and I can exercise my right to turn it off or turn over to something else.

But if I can’t be bothered to stir a finger and apply some gentle pressure to a small button on the remote then that’s my problem.

Not the program makers’.

But we’ve already covered your total inability to lift even a finger when you want to.

I won’t repeat them here: they had something to do with pubic hair.

Ooh…you obviously listened carefully, didn’t you?

Amazingly, the Mail hasn’t said anything about Brand’s remarks – only you.

However, being in a minority of one doesn’t make you any less entitled to express your opinion, does it?

It’s that old ‘freedom of speech’ thing again – you know, that right you seem to resent other people exercising.

The audience roared and Stephen Fry chortled, even repeating the remarks I think.

You think?

Oh, you’re really at the cunting cutting edge of journalism, aren’t you?

I’m sure you appreciate your reporters adding ‘I think’ to their articles from time to time…

Also on the panel was a gentleman called Phil Jupitus. Hitherto, I have only been dimly aware of his work as a “comedian”.

Ah…the sarcastic inverted commas…a useful tool for the ‘journalist’ that you are…

If I were joining in with this fashion for being offensive, which I’m not, then I would call him fat and unfunny.

Ooh…see what you did there?

Said you weren’t going to do something and then you did it anyway?

Can I have a go please?

Let’s see…


I’ll talk about a certain deputy editor of a Tory broadsheet:

If I were joining in with this fashion for being offensive, which I’m not, then I would call him smug, overprivileged, underqualified, overpaid and a really crappy journalist.

See what I did there?

Oh, and he looks a bit ginger, too.

And a bit chubby…

And he’s a pathetically lazy cunt…

When a picture of Thatcher was flashed up on screen I’m certain I heard Jupitus shout: “witch!”

Yes, you did – congratulations for actually paying attention this time.

Why, as a licence fee holder, do I have to pay for this?

For the same reason I have to pay for shit like ‘Strictly Come Dancing’.

And if you can’t see why then you’re a fucking retard.

If he wants to book a hall and sell tickets to people daft enough to pay him that’s his business, but why should a penny of my money go into his bank account?

So…if you go and see Phil Jupitus you’re daft?

I’ll say one thing, you really know how to win people over to your point of view, don’t you?

In large parts of the BBC many of those involved have never met anyone who thinks Thatcher an admirable person and a great British leader.

Well, maybe that’s because she isn’t and she wasn’t.

She totally fucked the manufacturing base of this country leaving us with the pathetic remnants that we’re now looking to to save us now that the financial sector has gone tits up.

She was a cold, unfeeling  bitch who won’t deserve the waste of good urine that will be metaphorically pissed all over her grave by the millions she harmed after she carks it.

Good fucking riddance.

So when Jupitus or Brand say such things they are not so much being “edgy”, they are simply reflecting the views of “everyone”. But they are not;

I don’t believe anyone has ever claimed that such people reflect the views of everyone.

Any more than the Daily Telegraph does.

Or this blog.

Or your blog.

there are many millions forced to pay for the BBC who do not go in for ultra-liberal leftist group-think.

And many millions who don’t go in for ultra-right wing repression of individual freedoms.

And we are rapidly approaching the point at which they will refuse to pay any longer for being insulted.

In which case, they’ll get heavily fined.

So…inciting people to commit an offence are we?

That makes having a poke at Thatcher seem very small beer indeed.

(Timely pause)

You know, this bloke really can’t fucking write, can he?

I’m not saying I write well, but Martin is really crap at it.

It all sounds a bit Young Conservative to me – all shrill (possibly because his balls haven’t dropped yet) and strident and lacking all credibility and cohesion.

And what clueless moron put Martin in charge of the online section of the Telegraph group, including blogs?

He can’t write well enough to blog.

Enough of all this, though.

What do we have here, essentially?

It’s one bloke able to express his opinion from a position of privilege, power and influence – that opinion being that other people with whom he disagrees should have no right to express theirs.

Such people are very dangerous.

Watch out for this one – he’s ambitious, has powerful friends and wants to tell you what you should think.


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