For that special lady in your life…

Bucky Gift Pack

…and all because the lady loves getting slaughtered and then chilling out with a spliff…

Many thanks to a friend for this priceless photo.

For those who don’t know what Bucky is, look here.

People who wish to engage in further research concerning the abuse of the human liver are advised to visit this site.

War!…Huh!…

…what is it good for?…absolutely nuthin’…

So sang Edwin Starr all those years ago, and the chap wasn’t wrong, either.

I certainly wouldn’t want to fight in one, and, believe you me, we’d have to be pretty bloody desperate if they were forced to stick me in uniform and put a gun in my hand.

That’s bloody desperate as in last ditch, last stand, last gasp, smoke ’em if you got ’em, backs to the wall, totally fucked.

To say the least, I am not of ‘military age’…

I usually have nothing but admiration for anyone who joins up – especially if they have to fight.

However, after reading this I’m a little disappointed.

It seems that some of our troops are objecting to having enemy Taleban fighters and British troops treated in the same ward.

It’s long been traditional that those people rendered hors de combat are treated together regardless of which side they’re on, but now that tradition is being called into question.

On one hand, I’m with our guys all the way, even though they’ve been sent there wrongly in my view, but on the other I hope this isn’t going to be the thin end of some sort of wedge with our troops becoming all sort of fussy on our arses.

OK, the Taleban are the enemy, but it might just show those lying injured amongst our troops that we possess tolerance – even towards those who have tried to kill us – and that this very tolerance is lacking in their fundamental Muslim doctrine.

Scoop! Ice found on Rover!

Sometimes you just have to laugh at the Daily Mail – you have to laugh otherwise you’d make a crate of petrol bombs, stick it in the car boot, drive euphorically down to London and firebomb their offices…

Not only do they see themselves as some sort of crusader for the narrow-minded, bigoted and ignorant, but now they’re writing about stuff like this.

How Jack Frost decorated my Rover… The amazing ice graffiti found after a freezing cold night

It’s the Rover bit I like in particular…it had to be a Rover, didn’t it?

‘I couldn’t believe what I saw,’ said Mr Baker, 76, who had intended to defrost his wife’s Rover 45, in Folkestone, Kent. ‘I called to my wife Julie to have a look.’

The pattern was one bit of graffiti he didn’t mind seeing. ‘Usually I would have defrosted the vehicle fairly quickly but the ice formations were stunning,’ he said.

‘They didn’t last long – they were gone as soon as the sun came out.’

Ah…ice tends to do that, Mr Baker.

Or haven’t you noticed it before because you were too busy worrying about falling house prices or Jonathan Ross saying ‘fuck’ on the radio – as featured in your Daily Mail?

Don’t get me wrong, ice patterns are wonderful things and I value the sense of wonder that such natural but beautiful phenomena can arouse in people.

However, I also value tolerance, freedom of speech and balance – similarly beautiful things that the Mail seems to delight in trying to stamp out.

Gratuitous smut…

This made me chuckle long and loud:

Can big chef Heston take the Little Chef up the food chain?

Could ‘up the food chain’ supplant ‘up the Oxo Tower‘?

I plead guilty to being easily amused…

RIP Tony Hart

Sad news.

I can remember him on TV from when I was a kid, and he never lost his ability to intrigue you and open your eyes to the potential for art all around you.

I could watch ‘Take Hart’ right now and still enjoy it.

Another of the special people has left us…

Tony Blair – limbo champion?

Sitting, as most of us are, amongst a set of circumstances that one might rightly describe as ‘pretty fucked up’ it’s tempting to wonder how things have got to this stage.

Here we are suffering one of the most serious economic declines ever, witnessing child abuse of an unimaginable nature, watching all manner of people bomb, shoot, kill and maim each other from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe and, for many of us, seeing a steady erosion of personal liberty in the name of immigration control and terrorist alerts.

I’m not going to begin to attempt any sort of all-encompassing explanation as to how we’ve got where we are today, but I do have a largely unanswered question that’s been troubling me for a while now that could shed some light on one of the chief problems facing us.

Did Tony Blair see economic decline coming before he left office and to what extent has he avoided any blame for it?

As far as I can ascertain, very few members of the UK’s or the world’s press or media have addressed this question.

So, now it’s my turn…

Putting aside the bitching, the agreements, the disagreements, the broken promises and the in camera meetings that Blair and his successor Brown indulged in, it became pretty clear that the plum job of PM that Brown coveted so fervently was, in fact, a poisoned apple and only a brief  ‘honeymoon’ period ensued before Brown found this out.

For most of Blair’s premiership the economic situation seemed to be very rosy.

Inflation was low, employment was relatively high and many ordinary people felt secure and reasonably prosperous.

That perception was at odds with the reality of the divide between rich and poor ever widening and what we now know to be a festering bubble of over-reliance on credit waiting to burst, but that’s sort of my point.

Many of us thought things were fine and no-one in government bothered to tell us that maybe it wasn’t after all.

Now, Brown was in charge of the economy as Chancellor from the landslide victory of Labour in 1997 to when he took over from Blair as PM so it’s tempting to blame him. I think we should. Whether he knew how serious things were becoming in the domestic and global economies over that 10 year period or whether he didn’t doesn’t really matter.

If he knew, then why didn’t he do something about it?

If he didn’t know, then why didn’t he know?

There’s a clear choice here between negligence and ignorance – neither of which are qualities you’d want in a junior accounts clerk, let alone the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

But, and here’s the crucial question, where was Blair whilst this was going on?

Did he simply let Gordon ‘get on with it’ or did he know from meetings with his Chancellor that there was trouble brewing?

Again, the choice is clear – ignorance or negligence – neither of which are qualities you’d want in a boy scout leader, let alone the Prime Minister.

So, to sum up the answer to the first part of my initial question – it doesn’t really matter whether or not he saw economic decline coming.

Either way he fucked up big time.

On to part two – to what extent has he avoided blame for catastrophic ignorance or negligence?

Well, it has to be said that Teflon Tony’s done a pretty thorough job of leaving No. 10 and finding suitable employment – he’s the UN’s Middle East envoy, he’s received a Yale University fellowship, consultancy jobs in two banks and is a potential candidate for the EC Presidency.

He’s believed to be earning about £7 million a year.

In an astonishing twist of irony, last week US President Bush awarded Blair with a Presidential medal for, amongst other things, his role in the War on Terror and, in the very same week, UK Foreign Secretary David Miliband had an article published in the Guardian saying that the War on Terror was a mistake.

If that isn’t a fucked-up state of affairs, I don’t know what is.

It’s also an indirect criticism by Miliband of his old boss who supported Bush through all the WMD, 45 minute warning, and ‘Help, I’m living next door to a Muslim, get him out of here’ bollocks.

(I’m not even going to start tearing into the duplicity of Miliband who supported Blair’s decisions regarding the whole terrorist/Iraqi invasion issue and then suddenly had his recent ‘Damascus’ moment…)

Apart from this, however, where are the searching questions about Blair’s part in the downfall of the UK’s economy?

I don’t hear them coming from the very people who should be asking them – our journalists in the press and the media.

No, Tony’s got off scot-free with his future well sorted and his reputation, whilst not regarded with fondness by many, at least more or less intact.

There are many people in the UK today who won’t shed a single tear when Margaret Thatcher pops her clogs – she was responsible for the decline of our manufacturing sector which we’d die to have right now and she did her utmost to destroy our perception of society that gave it a certain cohesion that is lacking today.

Indeed there are many who’d queue to piss on her grave.

For what it’s worth I don’t think that Tony’s quite achieved that status yet.

However, I can only fervently hope that history will not be kind to him after he surfed into government like a golden boy on the waves of our hopes and dreams – after years of Tory malpractice – reneged on almost every Socialist principle people voted him in on and then buggered off after making a complete fuck-up of our economy whether through ignorance or negligence.

And as for Blair and the limbo, our Tony can get down so low that he can duck under anything.

Only time will tell whether he eventually goes down too low and ends up disappearing up his own arse.

I defy the guy to come up smelling of roses then…

Late addition…

I won’t say I’ve researched this very deeply but it seems clear after some cursory Googling that it was pretty clear from the way the US Federal Reserve started to slash its interest rates from early 2007 that all the signs of a US and hence an ensuing UK recession were all there well before Blair announced his forthcoming resignation.

Lest this be seen as letting Brown off the hook, George Soros – who’s been known to be right on many occasions – recommended that the Bank of England cut interest rates as early as January 2008.

I think it’s now pretty certain that we had over 18 months to get ready for the financial shitstorm that erupted in September 2008 but we appear to have done nothing about it. OK, maybe we couldn’t have avoided it altogether but maybe we could have been better situated to ride it out better than we are doing at present.

Tony…Gordon…you really fucked things up.

“War on Terror” is a mistake…where do you fucking start?

I wanted to blog about David Miliband’s recent declaration that the ‘war on terror’ was a mistake.

But I struggled…

…not so much with the concept of such a conflict or even with my own long-held opinion being vindicated that the idea of organised terrorism – as Bush, Blair and other people would have us accept – was fatally flawed, but with the way that he’s been allowed to slip this bombshell under the wire without the whole nation demanding that he be strung up by the bollocks along with every other New Labour rentboy who allowed themselves to be royally buttfucked by the US neo-cons – and fucking LOVED it – whilst dragging this world just that bit closer to madness than anyone of us would like.

(Wow…that’s a hell of a sentence – I hope you understood it.)

It’s now beyond all reasonable doubt that the British press has less bollocks than a neutered vole when, instead of FUCKING OUTRAGE at the sheer effrontery of this pronouncement, they just calmly report that a government minister thinks the whole Bin Laden/Al Queda/9-11/organised training camp in Pakistan/shoot the guy with the backpack/there’s a dodgy Muslim in my street package is a MISTAKE.

All this AFTER we’re introduced to the unparalleled intrusion into our private lives in the form of covert surveillance and the prospect of national databases – and we all know how FUCKING SECURITY CONSCIOUS our government is, so abso-fucking-lutely no problem there – and that will continue to be imposed on us in the future form of national ID cards as long as this shitty excuse for a government clings on to power like an alcoholic to his last can of white cider.

I am fucking ANGRY.

FUCK this tawdry excuse for a government and its CLUSTER FUCK politics.

Where the hell was I…

…when a band called Oingo Boingo was about?

I’ve just discovered them and all I can say is WOW.

Of course, there are countless bands that meant zip in the UK whilst pulling in mega crowds to gigs and making album after album in the US, and vice versa, but why weren’t these guys a global fucking smash?

Well, it’s too late to see them now, but at least their back catalogue is available.

I want everything they’ve ever recorded – or even breathed next to…

Woss’s Weturn

OK, time for another cheap shot at the Daily Mail…I haven’t slagged them off properly for a while.

New row for BBC as Jonathan Ross returns to plum role of  Baftas host two weeks after suspension ends

The BBC was last night embroiled in a fresh row over Jonathan Ross after it emerged he will host the prestigious Orange British Academy Film Awards (Baftas) on BBC1 – just two weeks after returning to work from suspension.

The controversial presenter has been handed back the plum role presenting Britain’s answer to the Oscars despite public and political outrage over his lewd phone calls to actor Andrew Sachs.

This story is so typical of the kneejerk reaction that passes for news and comment in this piece of tabloid shit.

The floppy-haired scamp’s suspension was for 12 weeks, so keep him off the air for any longer and it’s not a 12 week suspension, it’s more than 12 weeks.

So, now we have to explain simple maths to the fuckwitted rag…

What’s the BBC supposed to do?

Suspend him for 12 weeks but just ignore him for a further month on the off chance he won’t notice?

And it’s not as if he’s been given a new job – Ross has done the BAFTAs gig before.

So, what would the Mail like to happen to Ross?

Maybe come back to work and find a picture of a penis scrawled on his office door?

A drawing pin left on his chair?

How about allowing him back on our screens but only every other week at 2am on BBC 4 presenting a program about llama rearing?

Of course, like the moralising heap of excrement that it is, the Mail would like Ross to vanish from the airwaves altogether – but he’s too popular.

Thank fuck…

Oh, and Dacre hasn’t got a gong – but Ross has…har-de-har…

RIP No.6

Very sad news indeed.

More than just the star and creator of  ‘The Prisoner’, McGoohan was a great actor and a charismatic guy who prized his privacy and didn’t seek publicity.

An extremely talented man is no longer with us.