Getting the hump

I had to go to London yesterday for the first time in years and I became aware of a phenomenon that was new to me after being so long away from the delights of the Underground.


Fucking backpacks.

Practical no doubt, but no-one who clouted me going past me seemed to be able to compensate for being Quasimodo for the day.

Henceforth, Boris should give the green light to anyone wearing one to be fucking shot on sight by armed police with bazookas in case they’re a terrorist – if they’re not a terrorist then it’s one less twat who’s going to push you aside with their fucking hump.



2 Responses

  1. Nah, backpacks are cool. What really drives me to a state of fury in London is those daft wheeled suitcase things. Fine for wheeling across the broad tiled expanse of an airport, but totally hopeless for a busy street or railway station. When you’re in a crowd, you see people’s heads and use them to find a route through the crowd… which is then completely scuppered when you trip over the toughened plastic boxes they’re all dragging 2ft behind them!

  2. Yes, those wheeled suitcases are bad too. At times, last Friday, it was like some bizarre sort of assault course or football dribbling exercise trying to weave your way through a crowd.
    In all seriousness, is anyone keeping any statistics about injuries caused by these?

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