I’m confused

Lots of comforting noises started to come out of No 10 when everyone realised that the credit crunch was actually a full-blown global catastrophe of the first magnitude and that the government could no longer pretend it was all going to go away.

There’s been talk of real help with mortgages, jobs, retraining, loans, etc.

But what’s actually happened?

The billions of quids loaned to the banks are sitting there doing bugger all, jobs are haemorrhaging on a daily basis, the pound is now worth a euro, Mandy is being tough and not loaning Jaguar Land Rover the billion they’re asking for and a leaked government document has suggested that lending the hardest-up people in society money at an interest rate of 27% apr is being considered (since strenuously denied, natch) at a time when interest rates are at their lowest ever and, to add insult to injury, Gordon Brown has said he likes the X-Factor winner’s version of “Hallelujah” and that he will buy it for someone as a present – which is possibly the most fucked-up thing he’s come out with so far…

If this is helping us, I wouldn’t like to see our government turn against us…

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