Leave your evil fat cat granny at home and drink Stella instead!

It’s not something I’ve ever considered doing myself before, but I’ve heard of people treating their mothers, grandmothers and aunts to what I admit sounds a rather nice little outing to mark that special occasion.

Afternoon tea at the Ritz.

They is evil fat cat tax-evading bankers ‘n’ shit, innit?

Along with a pot of tea chosen from 17 varieties you get sandwiches, scones, pastries and cake:

An extensive selection of 17 different types of loose leaf tea is offered. The traditional English Tea Menu includes freshly cut sandwiches with smoked salmon, cucumber, egg mayonnaise, roast ham and Cheddar cheese fillings. The finger sandwiches are served on a three tier stand, together with freshly baked apple and raisin scones with strawberry preserve and clotted Devonshire cream, followed by a delectable selection of afternoon tea cakes and pastries.

OK, it comes at a price – £40 per person – but if it’s a special occasion it’s not prohibitively expensive. You could easily pay that for lunch with wine at somewhere fairly mediocre. What’s more, just the setting of the Ritz itself would make an afternoon out rather special.

So, although staying at the Ritz might well be beyond many people’s budgets – about £400 for a double room – treating your Granny to afternoon tea there isn’t going to break the bank for many people:

What to do for my Nan’s birthday?
Let me tell you a little bit about my Nan first of all, she is an amazing woman and if there was a picture in the dictionary of ‘A Cockney Nan’ it would be her picture (if you’re not sure what a cockney is Google it or search youtube for ‘Catherine Tate Nan’ that IS my Nan!). In the past Nikki and I have taken my Nan to the theatre and other shows but my Nan doesn’t like people making too much of a fuss and is most content sat having a cup of tea & eating a cake so Nikki suggested tea at The Ritz.

You don’t have to be a bloated capitalist or fat cat tax evader to have tea at the Ritz.

However, according to certain anarchist elements within British society, anyone at the Ritz yesterday was an evil greedy bastard:

Anti-capitalists and anarchists attacked branches of HSBC, Lloyds and Santander banks as well as McDonald’s restaurants, and fashion outlets Topshop and Dorothy Perkins. The windows of the Ritz hotel and an Ann Summers store in the Soho district were smashed.

Here, indeed is a policeman outside the Ritz after the vandalism had taken place:

Now, I don’t know about you, but if I was spending £80 of my hard-earned treating an elderly female relative – FUCK, treating anyone – to tea at the Ritz and it was disturbed in any way by mindless, ignorant, soap-dodging anarchist cunts then I’d be more than a tad miffed.

Now, if you can afford to pay £40 for tea at the Ritz then you’re almost certainly not living on the breadline, but that’s not the fucking point as far as UK Uncut are concerned.

You can spend £40 going to a rock gig, or a McDonalds and then the cinema with coke and popcorn, or a couple of nights at the pub with mates, or any number of approved activities.

But afternoon tea at the Ritz?

Totally out of the question.

Better leave your fat cat granny at home and spend the dosh on Stella with your mates instead – that has the UK Uncut seal of approval, I should imagine.